by Jenna | Jan 12, 2012 | Writing Articles
One of the most common excuses I hear from people who say they want to write but aren't doing it is that they don't have enough time to write.
If you're attached to that excuse, you might not want to keep reading. (I'm feeling a little feisty today!)
I see frequent articles on the web about "how to find time to write" — and I've even written one of them myself — and yet people are still not writing. This is interesting when you consider the fact that over 81% of Americans answered "Yes" when asked "Do you think you might have a book in you?" in a 2002 study from the Jenkins Group.
ƒSo the desire is there, but not the action nor the results.
Why?
What you're telling yourself:
I know you think you are too busy and that you don't have enough time.
I know you're longing for a whole day off where you can finally sit down and focus on your Big Writing Project, but when that day comes, you remember that the laundry really needs to get done or that you promised Jane you'd go with her to that party and you don't have anything to wear so you have to go shopping and while you're out you remember that you forgot to... Well, you get the picture.
I also know you have too much work to do and the kids need you. And that those things are true.
I know you also want to write but you aren't sure where to start or what to write about. I know you think you need to get a little farther along with your career and save some money (or get the right room or the right computer) before you can devote yourself to your writing career.
I know this because I was telling myself these same things for too many years to count.
And I know something else. These things? They are Not True -- at least not in the larger sense.
Let me tell you what is True.
What is true is that the reason you are not writing is because you are scared.
You are scared that you don't know how to write, or what to write about.
You are scared that your writing won't be good enough, original enough, or that maybe someone else has already said it better.
You are scared to do the hard work of writing, and overwhelmed by the thought of such a big project.
You're scared you might hurt people if you write your truth. Or disappoint them.
So you don't give yourself a chance to do it.
This thing about time is just a story.
You can go on telling yourself that story if you want to, but we both know it isn't true. Because we both know the real reason you aren't writing is that you don't believe in yourself.
I've found the time to write every single day after years of telling myself I didn't have time. Years! And I'm busier now in my life than I ever was before.
Sometimes it exhausts me. But more often, it is the fuel that fires my LIFE. I found myself saying to my writing community participants yesterday that you would have to fight me off with a sword to keep me from writing. And this from someone who thought she could never write fiction to save her life -- except in her wildest dreams -- up until a year or so ago.
Here's what else I know:
I know that if writing means as much to you as you say it does, you will find a way to make it happen. If you want some help, that's the purpose of my writing community.
"The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness."
To close, here's a passage to inspire you:
"You know that the antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest?"
"The antidote to exhaustion is not necessarily rest," I repeated woodenly, as if I might exhaust myself completely before I reached the end of the sentence. "What is it, then?"
"The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness."
~ An excerpt from Crossing the Sea by David Whyte, here.
by Jenna | Dec 28, 2011 | Writing Articles
A few weeks ago, I wrote about getting up at 6 a.m. to write. I’ve continued with the experiment and I’ve been enjoying the results very much.
I’ve been surprised to notice a number of interesting side effects:
I feel better rested.
I’ve been going to sleep no later than 10 p.m. if I can possibly help it, and usually more like 9 or 9:30 p.m. I’ve read that you get the most regenerative sleep between the hours of 10 p.m. and 2 a.m., and I’m finding that it is true.
I’m using my time much more wisely.
Something I’ve struggled with over the past year in particular is how I use my time in the evenings.
I was watching shows on streaming video… and then watching just “one more” until the evening was gone and it was far too late. Or obsessively playing iPhone games or looking at things online.
I felt like an out of control addict who was doing unhealthy things in the name of having “alone time.”
Instead, now I reward myself with little nibbles of these formerly addictive devices when I complete a task, and it doesn’t stop me from being efficient and effective. If anything I feel more effective because I’m enjoying these little breaks as true play.
I feel calm.
In part this is due to Just. Doing. The. Writing., but I believe it also has to do with doing it so EARLY.
Getting up at 6 not only demonstrates my commitment to myself and to my writing, but also helps me get it done. Instead of having it hanging over my head for an entire day (“When am I going to fit it in?”), which makes me feel incredibly guilty, I feel at peace when I do it first.
It’s like I’m saying, “I’ve done my hardest work. Now, what else is there?”
I feel happy.
A big part of feeling happy is the result of actively working to fulfill my calling as a writer.
But there’s also a kind of freedom and joy that comes from doing it first that is highly compelling.
Contrary to how it might appear from the outside, writing triggers a huge amount of fear for me, so facing it first (while still half asleep, I might add), creates such a huge sense of relief that happiness seems to rush in and fill the void.
How cool is that?
by Jenna | Dec 21, 2011 | Reflections
I’ve never been good at cherishing the moment or being “in the now.”
I’m an Enneagram Four, so I’m pretty much always wanting more and nothing is ever quite good enough.
From time to time, I find my way out of that obsession and into a much more present place with what’s available to me. Interestingly, writing early has made a huge difference in my ability to be more present and to cherish the moments I have. It’s as if showing up and doing my true work is allowing my brain to quiet down and just be. It’s so nice.
The veil between life and death
The greatest experiences in my life that have brought me the closest in to truly cherishing and experiencing life always involve deeply real things that seem to be closer to the veil between life and death. For instance, when my ex-boyfriend lay in a hospital bed on the verge of death, it was pretty clear to me what mattered and what didn’t. (A city plan? Uh, no.)
Similarly, years ago when our kitty C. J. approached the end of her life and spent two weeks insisting on being carried and held by me continuously, I found myself focusing very intently on my time with her and enjoying it profoundly — the sweet, pure energy of her attachment to me was deeply compelling. She died at home in my arms, and it was a beautiful, deep experience I’ll never forget.
I found myself in a similar situation again recently. Our lovely kitty Maddie has a tumor and we will be saying good-bye to her soon. Every night she sleeps cuddled up with us, and I feel so sad knowing we’ll have to say goodbye soon. It is also so precious to know, feel, and celebrate our connection so consciously for a time. I’ve found myself just wanting to sit on the couch and hold her all day.
A reminder to be present
These kinds of experiences remind me to be more present — with my family in particular. I’m far from perfect at it, but I find myself focusing on enjoying my time with my son and my husband at a deeper level. All that work can wait for another day.
The power of darkness
Empaths are also considered “hospice workers,” the one who can go into the darkness of life (things like death and divorce) and hold a non-verbal space for transformation and healing. A client recently asked about that — why would we want to go into the darkness?
And I said, “What if there was something beautiful about that darkness?”
Tonight, on the Solstice, the longest night of the year, I’ll be lighting candles with my family, celebrating the wisdom I gain from the darkness.
Happy Solstice and Happy Holidays,
by Jenna | Dec 14, 2011 | Writing Articles
Last week I wrote about aligning your day job with your creative destiny and there were a few objections about the practicality of such things in this day and age.
So I want to be clear.
- I’m not suggesting that you up and quit your current job that doesn’t work for you without having something new lined up.
- I’m not suggesting that work for peanuts and stress yourself financially in order to pursue your creative work.
- I’m not suggesting that the only way to have a more aligned day job is to work part time or fewer hours (though that may be part of your solution).
I am suggesting that:
- If pursuing your creative destiny is important to you and you believe it is your true source of life satisfaction and ultimate success, you must make it a priority.
- In order to make it a priority, you may want to reevaluate the current things you are doing and consider changing them to be better aligned with your creative work.
- Many people mistakenly assume there is no other solution to their current circumstances, and/or they are unwilling to challenges the choices in their lives that keep them stuck.
- Many people resist making changes because it feels overwhelming.
IF you want to make a change in your current life or job situation, rather than doing it in one fell swoop, I encourage you to tackle it a little bit at a time.
- Begin thinking of yourself in a new way (e.g “What would it look like to put my writing first?”).
- Take a look at what’s working and what’s not.
- Get creative about new ways to approach what’s not working. What could you try that you’ve never tried before? (Getting up early to pursue your art?)
- Brainstorm what your ideal scenario would look like.
- Resist deciding there are no alternatives that might work better until you’ve thoroughly explored the options.
- Open your eyes, heart, and mind to new possibilities and solutions.
- Take a active role in pursuing those solutions.
- Start making changes a little bit at a time.
- If something big falls into place, go for it!
For a long time, I believed that running my busy coaching business meant I couldn’t write. As I wrote last week, I had to shift what I was thinking and believing first, and then shift what I was doing to make a change in my life. And now it’s happening, bit by bit.
The mistake I kept making was not believing it was possible, so I kept waiting for something to happen to make it possible, rather than making it possible myself.
by Jenna | Dec 8, 2011 | Writing Articles
Being trapped between a “day job” and your true creative destiny can be awkward.
It doesn’t have to be.
All too often, having a “day job” or “support job” looks like doing work you don’t enjoy in the name of paying the bills, while you pursue your true creative calling on the side.
In a more optimal scenario it looks like doing work you enjoy, ideally closely akin to your creative work.
For a long time, I’ve wanted to be a “real” writer. You probably know that already. *grin*
And for a while it felt like my coaching business was preventing me from doing that.
What I’ve since learned is that I was the only one stopping myself from pursuing my creative writing, and I had to make a few adjustments to change my relationship with my business to make my writing life a priority.
Inner & Outer Adjustments
Here’s what I mean:
- I had to start seeing myself as a writer and believing that my creative destiny and future success lies in that direction.
- I had to reorganize the structure of my days and life around my writing.
- I had to start thinking of my coaching business as my day job — luckily one that I like very much, and fully intend to keep doing — but one that is not the only center of my universe.
- I had redesign my business model to be more in alignment with my writing so it didn’t feel like such a departure from my own creative work.
Ideal Support Job Alignment Checklist
Some things to take into consideration:
- Make sure your support job pays well. Support jobs are Good Things, because they give you breathing room, usually financially, so you can pursue your creative destiny free from needing to rely on it to keep a roof over your head. (Not setting it up this way = a recipe for feeling creatively blocked if I ever heard one. I made this mistake when I first started my coaching business.)
- Make sure your support job leaves enough time and energy that you feel like you have the bandwidth left to pursue your creative work. Support jobs are Good Things only when they work for you, so check to make sure your “day job” is truly supporting your creative work. If it is draining and deadening you, it’s time for a recalibration. Having a good support job that feels good to you can make all the difference in the energy, spirit, and passion you’re able to bring to your creative work.
- Ideally, make sure your support job is aligned with your creative work. In an ideal world, your support job will match or resonate with your creative work. If it’s not, can you make any adjustments? Your spirit will be so much happier.
