It’s time for a new installment in my A Leap of Wonder column at Script Mag. This time I've written about making peace with my writing pace, in my latest article, "Faster Than the Speed of ... Something?"
Though this column publishes every other month, I didn't manage to get out an announcement about my June column since our household was laid up with covid, annoyingly. However! The article is (and was ;)) live, so you can check it out here: "Enough to Go On." You may want to read that one first, if you're following along with ye olde writing journey.
The Latest
Writing plans never quite work out the way we expect, do they? I was recently reminded that it's not sticking to the plan that's important (something something no plan survives first contact with the enemy etc. etc.) but rather that we plan at all. Planning and adapting our plans to reality is what's important.
Alongside our household setbacks — and some lovely time spent with our kids over the summer — I've learned a ton through the screenwriting classes I've been taking, and I’ve adapted my plans to use the classes to develop my current script, rather than trying to do both separately in parallel. Though that was my original intent, I got too behind between the covid-summer-from-hell and the amount of classwork. So... onward!
And, at the same time, it's hard when we don't write as fast as we might wish we could, yeah? One of my biggest ah-ha moments this summer was through feedback from my instructor about how much I second-guess myself and my writing. So the deep work I'm doing alongside my coursework is delving into the why of that, into the specific self-protective mechanisms getting in my way. It's already proving valuable and I will be very curious to see if clearing out some of those mental cobwebs helps me with my writing and development pace.
Extra Extra Read All About It
You can read more about this exploration and conundrum in my latest article, "Faster Than The Speed of ... Something?" or by clicking the image below. You can also check out the full "archive" (all three articles, whee!) for A Leap of Faith & Wonder, at Script Mag, here.
Check out the full article by clicking here ⇣
What Else I'm Up To:
I'm still (still!) reading! My reading pace is still slower than last year — mainly because I don't have a book series I'm locked into, I realize. Most recently I read The Midnight Train* by Matt Haig (which nearly killed me), Here One Momentby Liane Moriarty (not my most favorite of hers, but my word, she is a genius when it comes to posing narrative questions), Master Alvin by Orson Scott Card (a disappointing installment in the Alvin Maker series), and Starter Villain by John Scalzi (loved it!). I also picked up a copy of Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life by Dacher Keltner and I'm slowly working my way through that one. I'm waiting for the first book in the Robin Hobb series to become available through Libby, then I'll likely get lost in that series.
I've been playing oodles of games with our 12 year old and really enjoying it. We've got a little routine of playing some NYT games (we subscribe every three-ish days through our public library) and play, in order (very important!), Wordle, Strands, Mini Crossword, and Connections. Then we venture over to parseword.com to do a cryptic puzzle — so tricksy! — and after that we've been playing an iPad game called Slay the Spire. However, we just got Slay the Spire II on Steam so I'm getting left behind, LOL.
On the watching front: mainly TED LASSO. There's a new season of Ted Lasso but we got caught up in rewatching the last three seasons so we're doing that before fully committing to the new season. So fun! I've also been rewatching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel to improve my learning of "heart of darkness" and "bisociation" (two concepts from the screenwriting classes I've been taking). And I white-knuckled my way through Widow's Bay (not a horror fan, but wowza so good). Also, we LOVED the new Spider-Man movie and saw it in theaters.
I’m running FREE writing sprints on Thursdays at 9 a.m. Pacific Time through the end of October in my Called to Write Community. This is a powerful way to get help making writing happen, and get a feel for what our Monday through Saturday writing sprints are like. If you’d like to join us, please message our community manager Sarah at support@calledtowrite.com and she’ll send you a link to join us. She can also answer any questions you have about how our writing sprints work. (Hint: via a private online chat room, no zoom, so come as you are.)
I've been enjoying doing a fair amount of editing lately, including providing script notes for many fantastic screenwriters. I expect to have more space in my editorial calendar again in September, if you're looking for support in the editing department. Find out more here: https://jennaavery.com/for-writers
Thank you for reading, and happy writing!
* Any book links herein are affiliate links for Bookshop, which means I earn a small referral fee if you purchase from them, and which helps me keep my writing ship afloat. Thank you!
I hope you enjoyed the first installment of my new column for Script Mag: A Leap of Wonder. If you missed it, you can check it out here. Continuing with the peek behind the scenes of my writing journey, this month I'm sharing the self-reinforcing actions I'm taking as part of making a critical mindset shift to "Jenna as screenwriter."
The Mindset Shift to Jenna as Screenwriter
The big shift I’m most happy about is an internal one, and that’s the one I’ve been most wanting to make. I’m now farther across the bridge to Jenna as screenwriter than I was when I last wrote to you. Back then I’d say I was standing at the edge of the chasm, thinking I’d have to entirely Indiana-Jones-it across.
Sure, I had plans, but now I have actions and steps I’ve been taking (more on this below).
Now I feel like I’m, I don’t know, maybe 30% of the way across the bridge? What’s happened is that I’m less and less thinking of myself as a coach or editor (though I’m still doing and loving those things — I’ve read three scripts for clients lately, two about AI, so interesting, so different!), and thinking of myself more and more as screenwriter.
The Choices I’m Making About Where to Focus
For me, at least, this mindset shift feels critical because it informs what I’m doing with my day, the choices I’m making about where to put my focus and spend my money. It’s also a result of those things. So, here’s what’s happening.
I’m working on my “second” script.
I’m taking a series of classes that are blowing my mind.
I’m entering my market-ready script into contests.
I’m (further) developing marketing materials for my market-ready script.
I’m working on developing my “personal narrative” talking points and a new more “writerly” bio.
I’m keeping up with my screenwriting immersion.
I’m staying connected to my faith, wonder, and awe.
You can read details about these actions that are helping me make this mental shift in Enough To Go On, at Script Mag, here or by clicking the image below.
It’s been a minute since I last posted — and I’m back now with the first installment of my brand new column for Script Mag: A Leap of Wonder.
This column is meant to be a behind the scenes kind of deal — a look at my (continued) writing journey since I’ve made rather a large shift in the way I’m approaching both my writing and my coaching business.
The TL;DR (too long; didn’t read) is that I’ve spent a chunk of time redesigning my business and life (again) to make more space for my own writing.
Faith ... and Wonder
If nothing else, this requires a pretty significant leap of faith.
It also takes a leap of wonder into the world of story — and particularly with sci-fi and fantasy. This is what I love about sci-fi — the awe, amazement, and expansiveness the genre lends itself to so well.
This Big Shift got started when I taught my “Step Into Alignment with Your Writing Life” class last year. As I walked through the process myself, it became pretty clear, pretty fast, that my desperation to write more, to have more time to write, and to do that with some urgency was feeling rather pressing in a way I couldn’t ignore.
What I've Changed (So Far) & Plan to Do Next
I canceled a bunch of stuff (you can read about that in the article). I also made some big screenwriting craft and business decisions (ditto). And right now I’m in the midst of putting them into action (whilst also getting my older child sorted out for college).
You can find out more in my first article, A Leap of Faith & Wonder, at Script Mag, here or by clicking the image below. You can also read a little more there about what I expect to write about for future articles.
I hope you’ll join me for the ride.
Check out the full article by clicking here ⇣
What Else I'm Up To:
I'm still (still!) reading! Last year I posted about the resurrection of my reading habit, which has continued, though at less of a brisk pace. By the end of December, I’d read about 66 books for the full year. This year, so far, I’m at about 12, so far fewer on a per month basis. I’ve been reading John Scalzi’s books lately, and continuing my serial author monogamy, which has been fun. I have in mind to read a female author next, maybe Ursula K Le Guin or NK Jemisin or Premee Mohamed or Julie Cznerda or Annalee Newitz (they/them). We shall see! Maybe all of them.
I’ve been traveling more than I have in ages, mostly because of college touring, but I have to say, it’s pretty fun. I used to travel more, pre-kids, but lately we’ve been jumping on planes in a way I haven’t done since forever ago. This may or may not die down, depending on what happens with screenwriting (trips to L.A.?) and my college-bound child’s location.
For fun, here's what I've been watching, too. I'm catching up on the latest from Outlander, which I have mixed feelings about. I'm not up to date on the books so I don't know if it's matching the book series any longer or if it's gone off on its own track. I hesitate to look anything up because (if you know me, you know this about me) I strongly dislike spoilers and the worst kind are those I inflict on myself!
Thank you for reading, and happy writing!
In other news:
If you're looking for support making writing happen day in and day out — including regular writing sprints — check out my Called to Write Community, now available at a new lower rate: https://calledtowrite.mn.co
I've just finished a delightful edit for a lovely client and have space in my editorial calendar. Please reach out if you're needing support in the editing department. https://jennaavery.com/for-writers
* Any book links herein are affiliate links for Bookshop, which means I earn a small referral fee if you purchase from them, and which helps me keep my writing ship afloat. Thank you!
Back a bunch of years ago, I sat through a visualization connecting with my writing self in the future, and asking for her guidance. The message that came through very strongly was, "write like your life depends on it."
It was strong, resonant, and clear.
I thought I knew what it meant: "Write like there's nothing else to live for. Write like a maniac. Push, push, push. Write as much as you can and as fast as you can. Write to the exclusion of all else, no matter what."
I've felt pretty guilty that I haven't been doing that.
Instead, since then, I got married (and planned the wedding, essentially a part time job), had two amazing kids, moved three times, navigated home purchases (more part time jobs), and figured out new school systems. I've had many writing clients and run a year-round online writer's community for 14 years, developed my editing skills, and more.
I've also written multiple screenplays, hundreds of articles and blog posts (though, ha, I've killed some of them along the way), drafted two works of non-fiction (they're on the chopping block, but who knows), written some short scripts and short stories, started adaptations of two scripts, and more.
But I had still not — to my mind — lived up to "write like your life depends on it."
The other night, though, it occurred to me that perhaps I was interpreting the message incorrectly, through the lens of hustle culture, particularly here in the U.S. and the SF Bay Area.
What if, I thought, ...what if this message is actually about my entire well-being?
What if my "life depends on it" means I rely on writing to know myself.
To feel whole.
To feel expressed.
It doesn't have mean hustle, strive, push. Not at all.
It might just mean: Write because you love it.
Write because it makes you happy.
Write because it's essential to your vitality and well-being.
What a relief.
That's where the joy and love is, not the hustle-strive culture.
I can save that for the marketing part, if even there.
(Wouldn't it fun to approach marketing with joy and love too?)
Perfectly, the morning after my epiphany, I listened to Lauren Sapala describe the difference between "achievement-oriented practices" and "relationship-oriented practices."
She pointed out how achievement practices focus on striving, goals, measurement, etc., whereas relationship practices focus on the richness and depth of the relationship we have with our writing and with our characters.
In other words, a relationship-based practice comes from love.
She also pointed out how the tools of achievement practices can still be useful (goal settings, measurement, counts, tracking, etc.), but — especially for those of us who are HSPs, INF types, empaths, etc. — we don't want them to take over.
Instead, we want to create from feeling, intuition, inner guidance, relationship, intimacy, wonder, play, joy, and love.
Spot on.
And all the more valuable to me because it reinforced my own insight from the night before (gotta love a little synchronicity).
While I wish I had seen this sooner, I'm so happy to have found it now.
I can't totally recall how and when I lost my reading groove.
Seems like it happened gradually.
In my 20s, between the assigned reading in grad school and the dangers to my student loans of the lovely Pegasus Books near my apartment building, reading regularly (and reading fiction) fell by the wayside. Then came a ridiculously busy early career, followed not too long thereafter by parenthood and the accompanying sleep deprivation, none of which helped my reading life.
Then came that wave of short-attention-span-fostering social media and many notifications from various software and devices that began in the 'oughts. Later the 2016 election. And the rise of binge-watching.
It's not that I haven't been reading, it's that I haven't been reading consistently. Certainly not the way I did when I was a kid (I pretty much just devoured books). My adult reading life has been characterized by random, distracted, intermittent reading, mostly while on vacation.
Despite this, I've managed to keep up with Blake Crouch* and Matt Haig and other favorite authors.
(Coincidentally, I may have scared myself into believing I cursed us all by reading three pandemic books in late 2019 and early 2020 — Wanderers, the Oryx & Crake / Maddadam series, and A Beginning at the End — right before COVID kicked off. Either that or my intuition was operating in high gear with a prescient warning...)
Bottom line, I haven't been reading the way I want to be reading (and which I believe is important to do as a writer).
In any case, this summer I regrouped. Finally.
And it was sort of a strange recipe for getting there.
Here's what happened:
We were (mostly) unplugged for 22 days. My immediate family and I were in the High Sierra working on fixing sinking piers under our extended-family's cabin, built in the 1920s. Though we could drive down a pothole-riddled road to the one restaurant with WiFi, it was a bumpy, stressful trip, and thus not appealing. So, unplugged, mostly.
I needed for-real stress relief from the cabin work. (I wasn't the one under the cabin doing the work, but I was sort of our extended family's representative, project manager, chef, kid-minder, and pioneer-style laundress so I needed to chill the fuck out somehow. Plus we were living in a construction zone. So yeah, stressful.)
We've always read a lot at the cabin. The bliss of lying outside on the porch beds, reading books, is a built-in, default for me. So I was primed to read. Plus I had my dad's fully loaded kindle with me, and some print and library books that unintentionally made the journey with us, oops.
Once I started reading, I didn't stop. When I finished a book, I started the next one, quickly. I read the three print books (Lost & Found, A War of Gifts, and Staircase in the Woods) first, and nearly faltered, but opened the kindle and dove in.
I shifted into full-on binge-reading. Thanks to my dad, I had a massive collection of detective stories at my immediate disposal. That's when the true binge-reading commenced. I started with Michael Connelly's Bosch series (and haven't stopped). It turned out to be a hugely handy way to retrain my social-media-shortened attention span. (It also helped that my kids were reading oodles of books too.)
I'm determined not to let myself stop reading. Since we've been back from our trip, my pace has slowed from one book every two days to one book every four to seven days, but I'm happy with that. My intent is to always have a book I'm reading, and to know what the next book is going to be.
Turns out reading a massive series is not unlike binge-watching a long show with multiple seasons. So having the Bosch books to binge-read kind of fit my earlier binge-watching pattern, but is much better for my brain (other than all the murder stuff). I had another hiccup when I finished the main Bosch series and I had to wait for library copies of the Ballard/Bosch books to be available, but entertained myself with the fantastic Siege of Burning Grass in the meantime.
In any case, all this to say, I've gotten my reading groove back and I could not be happier.
I've read 32, going on 33 (::checks log:: no, make that) 35 books since June 6, when we left on our work trip (also, note to future self, a work trip is NOT a vacation). Considering that I think I read THREE books this year prior to that? Pretty epic. I know for sure I read All Systems Red, Upgrade, and The Life Impossible.
I want to stick with this pace and hope to have recorded double this number by the end of the year. While I didn't exactly mean to ensconce myself into the detective world, I'm also having fun reading "with" my dad, knowing he would have enjoyed sharing the experience with me (he passed away in 2018).
The best part of all this: my brain feels far less scattered and less hooked by social media and news.
It's a highly welcome and much-needed escape, in times like these. And, it's helped me stretch out my ability to focus on writing for longer stretches, which I dearly love.
If you're in a similarly distracted place, join me. Even if you can't unplug, binge-reading a long, addictive series is a terrific way to break the cycle and come home to your reader-self.
How's reading going for you right now? I'd love to read your thoughts in the comments. 👇
If you're looking for support making writing happen day in and day out — including regular writing sprints — check out my Called to Write Community, now available at a new lower rate: https://calledtowrite.mn.co
If you're looking for developmental editing support, I have space coming up in my editorial calendar for manuscript critiques and script notes in October. https://jennaavery.com/for-writers
* All book links herein are affiliate links for Bookshop, which means I earn a small referral fee if you purchase from them, and which helps me keep my writing ship afloat. Thank you!
I've been highly interested in this topic because I could feel my life-energy being sapped by these distractions and it's been really bothering me, despite the many changes I've already made. I do a good job of protecting my actual writing time from email and other online stuff, but the rest of my life? Not so much.
And it was mostly because of my phone. My computer use feels manageable. My TV consumption is minimal (though I have been watching lots of Prison Break and Breakout Kings as I'm prepping a sci-fi prison movie right now!). Having said that, I like being able to use my phone to read ebooks in the dark late at night without waking the baby (who sleeps in the same room) and being able to write on it when I want to.
But I don't like feeling like I can't be without it. Ever. YUCK.
(And honestly, the picture I've chosen to accompany this post keeps freaking me out -- it seems entirely emblematic of how so many of us are viewing our world through the filter of a device... constantly.)
My email trap
It was email that was really my last "hook" — I rationalized that as a business owner, I need to stay on top of things and make sure nothing was falling through the cracks. But that notion kept me constantly checking to see if I had any new messages.
And not only did I feel guilty for oh so frequently "checking" my phone when I was around my kids, I didn't like the way my brain felt always cluttered by all the checking, even after I'd taken Facebook off my phone, turned off almost all the notifications in the lock screen and more. It was like being tied into other people's energy and needs was keeping me on edge, in a hyper vigilant state of awareness and constant readiness. Again, YUCK.
Finding the courage and support to make a change
So I decided to participate in a "Look Up" two week online use "detox" program and see what shifts I could make.
We worked through a four-step process of first defining what we want, noticing what impulses were driving the behavior to check in online, accepting that those feelings and impulses (often discomfort) would not necessarily change but that we could learn new ways to deal with them, and finally choosing what we wanted instead. Then, every day, we answered simple journal prompts every morning to set our intentions for the day about our online use and how we wanted our days to go, and every evening, about how it went and what we learned.
I deleted Gmail from my phone
Initially I found myself sort of skirting the edges of changing my phone use, testing the water, seeing how it felt just to consider cutting back. (Which just shows how powerful an addiction it can be!)
Even before the program started, I installed the app called "Moment" so I could see how much time I was actually spending on my phone, and how many times I was picking it up. So in some ways it was good that I wasn't changing anything initially, but just observing. And it was kind of scary. There was one day, prior to the program, where I picked up my phone FORTY-NINE times. 49!! It's embarrassing even to put that in print.
On about Day 3 of the 14-day program I decided to take Gmail off my phone entirely. For good measure, I took off Chrome too, so my second-biggest, "let me just look that up real quick" excuse was gone too. I still have Safari there but since it wasn't my go-to program it just doesn't have the same attraction. While I was at it, I turned off every other kind of lock screen, pop up, and banner notification I could find on my phone (except iMessage and Reminders, which I do use) and on my computer.
It was so worth it.
I felt sort of jittery for about 24 to 48 hours, still on that automatic "must-check-now" auto-alert. It was mildly frightening to feel so much like Pavlov's Dog. Again, YUCK.
What changed for me
After that, everything got a lot more calm.
I found myself feeling much more present in my life and to my family.
My brain felt quieter, calmer, more alert.
I had more energy.
I started reading REAL BOOKS and putting my hands on REAL THINGS like baking food, drawing, collaging. I noticed that when I felt the urge to "check" I could make tea, or snuggle with my boys, or GO OUTSIDE and look up at the beautiful amazing sky that helps make life on this planet possible.
I also found that I could still use my devices for certain things: Kindle, Netflix, the timer, the calculator, iMessages, writing, and other apps I love and find incredibly useful without it taking over my time and energy. My phone became a tool again, instead of a constant companion or savior or whatever it was actually doing for me. It's been interesting to walk the line of finding what online use works for me and what doesn't, at least for right now.
I found myself being crystal clear about times when I absolutely did NOT want to be consuming any online stuff at all and have had a few spans of totally unplugged time (something I used to do weekly) and LOVED it.
It's started to feel kind of gross to be looking at my phone.
So I just don't do it much anymore. It mostly stays in my office, on the charger, except when I need it when I'm out and want it for emergency phone calls, or if I need it for another purpose, like the calculator or timer. Again, it's gone back to being a tool, and I like that.
I also found that the days have gotten So Much Longer! All those "little" checks and moments of time that were getting sucked into online use are suddenly mine again. My mind is clearer. My intentions are clearer each day. I feel more focused.
How my writing has changed
And as far as my writing goes, I have not noticed a huge change in my writing time, but I'm not surprised by that, since I've already been writing regularly and protecting my writing time well.
What I have noticed is that I feel readier to write when I sit down to do it. Now what swirls around in my brain when I'm out in the world is what I'm going to be writing about next, whether it's a blog post, my current script, or the next big project that's coming down the pipeline. It might sound like a small shift, but it's huge. It feels like I've reclaimed my own territory again. And it's such a relief.
