by Jenna | Sep 26, 2012 | Writing Articles
In the world of coaching, particularly in career and entrepreneurial coaching, much emphasis is put on the question of what you are passionate about.
It's a direct result of the "do what you love and the money will follow" paradigm.
I've written before (here) about why I think this is the wrong question to be focused on.
So many of us are so deeply out of touch with ourselves that we feel passionless, and quite frankly, being asked to name what we are passionate about can create a heightened sense of despair and confusion.
I've also submitted to you that you must rather find the things you believe in beyond reason, the dreams that make you cry when you merely contemplate making them real, the visions that humble you with their enormity when you consider the possibility that YOU might be capable of creating them.
When you still don't know?
What do you do when you STILL don't know what that thing is?
You listen.
You listen to the voice of your soul. You listen for those little whispers and nudges that tell you exactly what you are supposed to be doing. And then you do it.
Mind you, those nudges won't be loud. But they will be consistent. You just have to pay attention. Then take action.
Case in point
I have wanted to write for years. Years! And I've been "writing," because I've been blogging, writing articles, and creating programs for the last 10 years (oh, hey! I just realized that August was my 10th year in business, I'll have to come up with a way to celebrate). But I haven't been writing on the level that I've truly wanted to -- longer, deeper writing projects.
Finally, I started taking that voice seriously. I realized that I didn't need to close my business to write, I didn't need to become suddenly independently wealthy, and I didn't need someone to wave their magic wand and give me permission to write. I just needed to do it.
In fact, when this came to head for me was when I had been repeatedly asking my Essential Self for guidance. "What do I need to do? What's in my highest and best interest? What will make me happy?" I was asking, over and over again. The message came back, clearly. She said, "Write like your life depends on it."
It STILL took me a while to get it. To understand that I didn't need to radically change my life (see above) in order to "be able" to write. I just had to do it.
Then came the passion
Miraculously, once I began writing, I discovered a shocking, all-consuming fierce passion for it I did not know I had.
In fact, despite the days when writing feels impossibly difficult, no fun at all, and my inner critic is raging at me like a blue meanie on steroids, I still absolutely adore it.
The weirdest part of all of this is that the passion did not kick in, not truly, until I was well into writing regularly -- truly DOING IT -- day in and day out.
It's led me to believe that passion follows action, not the other way around.
But I add this caveat: The action must be inspired -- it must come from the voice of your soul.
by Jenna | Sep 5, 2012 | Reflections
When times get rough and things go wrong, sometimes I wonder if I’ve misread my intuition or why I wasn’t “warned.”
I don’t have an answer for the warnings, exactly. When my friend was in a bad motorcycle accident years ago, I had a strong sense of anxiety all day before I found out what happened. When I was in a car accident a few years ago, though, I had no hints there was anything wrong that day.
And was there anything wrong? It’s hard for me to answer that too. Does being intuitive mean we are always “saved” from challenging and painful experiences? When I think about it from a soul perspective, I have to say: I doubt it. My personal belief system tells me that we “sign up” for life experiences that as spiritual beings in human form we want to judge as right or wrong, good or bad. Perhaps from a soul perspective, these experiences are purely neutral, and designed for growth.
I’m reminded of Sandra Ingerman’s Shamanic Journeying book, where she asked her higher self in fear, “But what if I end up homeless?” Her higher self’s response? “Wouldn’t that be interesting?”
And perhaps we just don’t always get to know.
Is there such a thing as “right” or “wrong”?
And, what if there is no right or wrong? What if life just is, and our intuition is our guide to a more joyful experience of life — but one that isn’t necessarily always easier? Is life truly a school ground designed for us to learn and grow, whether it’s hard or easy or fun?
It’s impossible to know.
We have experience
We do, however, have experience.
We have the experience of suddenly knowing something, without knowing why we know it.
We see flashes of images or hear sudden phrases, like the day I was driving by the hospital while I was pregnant and thought, “That’s where my son will be born” — EVEN THOUGH I was planning a home birth.
Do we listen?
Which brings me to my point:
When I had that thought, I very quickly thought, “No, that can’t be right. I’m not having my baby there.” And I didn’t stop to explore that intuitive (and ultimately correct) insight to understand it. Similarly, when my friend was in the motorcycle accident, I didn’t take the time to tune in to my anxiety and understand it. It was only after the fact that I understood it.
My truest experience of intuition is that it’s a very quiet knowing thought or glimmer of an idea — a whisper — and easy to overlook if I don’t discipline myself to pay attention. I like to think I’m getting better at this, but I’m continually reminded that there are more opportunities to listen.
by Jenna | Aug 29, 2012 | Writing Articles
Last week I wrote about “how I do it all, or not” and promised to follow up with tricks I know that help (but don’t always use) in today’s post.
Tricks I know but don’t always use
#1 Put my own agenda first
Something I was reminded of recently is that if I start my day with email, I end up focused on other people’s needs and desires — not in the energy that will help me fulfill my bigger dreams.
It’s when I put my own work first — either my writing or other “big” tasks for the day — I’m much happier and get more accomplished.
#2 Pick out the big three
I’ve also learned that if I can start off by picking the 3 big tasks that need to be completed in a given day and focus there first, the day works out for the best.
The challenge is that usually one or all of those three things is hard and triggers resistance. It’s all too easy to want to procrastinate about them, which means other things tend to expand as a way off putting of those hard things, like when I suddenly feel that it’s critically important to organize my digital files or purge my inbox.
Facing the music and doing those tasks, whatever they are (e.g. writing a challenging section of my script or making an uncomfortable phone call) is something I work on every single day.
#3 Be clear about what you need to let go
To make all of what I do happen, I’ve given up a lot.
When I had my son, I stopped volunteering so much of my time. I hired more help for my business and gave up doing so much of it myself.
When I started writing, I gave up watching so many movies and episodic programs.
Now I still watch television, but it’s very focused (and often kid friendly). I watch one movie or show at a time, usually on some kind of streaming or DVD. I don’t have cable and we no longer get regular TV reception (can you even do that anymore?).
I also gave up a lot of late night internet browsing and started getting up early so I could focus on my writing.
Bottom line
I’m not always consistent — some day I’ll get around to talking about discipline and creativity and breaking rules — but I do find that when I use these tricks I’m much happier than when I don’t.
Warmly,
by Jenna | Aug 22, 2012 | Writing Articles
A few weeks ago, someone said to me, “I don’t know how you do it all.”
The truth is, I don’t.
I’m doing a lot, and there is a lot I’m not doing.
How I do what I do
The key distinction I see between me and other people I know is that I have learned — through pain staking trial and error — to put the hard stuff first.
In other words, I schedule time to do what’s most important to me first, which includes my writing, my work, and my family.
I work on screenwriting first thing 6 mornings a week, give or take time off for good behavior.
I have time scheduled on my calendar for marketing, learning time, administrative and financial time, writing my non-fiction articles for my site and for my ScriptMag.com column. I block out time on Fridays for longer stretches of time to write.
I have time set aside for my family, fun, and taking care of the house.
But I still don’t do it all
And, I don’t always accomplish all those things in quite the way I’d like. I learned from Miriam to use “time blocks” — to set aside the time each week, so that if I have to miss an activity one day, I know I’ve got the time for it next week for catching up.
Where I drop the ball
The biggest place I’m dropping the ball is housecleaning. My house is much less clean than I would like it to be. And, I’m okay with that. Seems to me there are more important things than a sparkling clean house.
I also give up time with family more than I’d like, and my social with girlfriends is in need of repair. I’m not so okay with that and still working on it.
Another place I drop the ball is with “extra stuff.” Lately I’ve been dealing with a slew of unusual medical appointments, paperwork, and challenging decisions. And there’s stuff I lump into the “extra” category that needs a regular time slot too, like filing.
So clearly, there’s room for improvement here.
Looking from the outside in
I think it’s always worth keeping in mind that what looks easy from the outside isn’t always so. Whether we’re looking at someone else’s relationship, business, finances, or life, we just can’t truly know what it’s like. So even if it looks like I’m “doing it all,” trust me, I’m not. And I’m mostly okay with that.
Next week — tricks I know but don’t always use.
Warmly,
by Jenna | Aug 15, 2012 | Writing Articles
There’s a lot you want to do.
It’s important to you, or you wouldn’t be doing it.
In fact, you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t believe you had something worth sharing with the world, even if you aren’t 100% clear on all the details yet.
My experience of being a creative, an entrepreneur, and a sensitive soul is a bit like navigating through a misty swamp. There are days and times when I catch clear glimpses of exactly where I want to go, and other days when I’m deep in the swirling fog and I can’t see my way through it.
Sometimes, I flounder on those days and lose my way.
Other times, I soldier on anyway.
Either way, it’s not easy.
If you’ve lost heart, try one of these:
- Reach out to people who remember who you are, even when you can’t. A good chat with a mentor or best friend is a soothing balm at times like these.
- Remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing in the first place. There IS a reason — a core message, idea, or purpose you care deeply about.
- Find it within yourself to do your best, even when your best on that particular day is just showing up.
- Do something different — get a new perspective, expose yourself to new ideas, or watch or read something inspiring.
- Remind yourself that what you’re doing takes courage, it’s normal to falter now and again, and carry on doing the work anyway, trusting that you’ll get to the other side one way or the other.
Once you’ve made it through the morass to the other side, see if there’s something you can set up to help remind yourself quickly and easily about why you do what you do. A beloved client and I were just talking about Simon Sinek’s “Start With Why” talk and devised a way for her to post her why, how, and what in front of her as she does her work. She’s going to post it on a bulletin board to help remind herself of what she’s about.
Warmly,
