Back a bunch of years ago, I sat through a visualization connecting with my writing self in the future, and asking for her guidance. The message that came through very strongly was, "write like your life depends on it."

It was strong, resonant, and clear.

I thought I knew what it meant: "Write like there's nothing else to live for. Write like a maniac. Push, push, push. Write as much as you can and as fast as you can. Write to the exclusion of all else, no matter what."

I've felt pretty guilty that I haven't been doing that.

Instead, since then, I got married (and planned the wedding, essentially a part time job), had two amazing kids, moved three times, navigated home purchases (more part time jobs), and figured out new school systems. I've had many writing clients and run a year-round online writer's community for 14 years, developed my editing skills, and more.

I've also written multiple screenplays, hundreds of articles and blog posts (though, ha, I've killed some of them along the way), drafted two works of non-fiction (they're on the chopping block, but who knows), written some short scripts and short stories, started adaptations of two scripts, and more.

But I had still not — to my mind — lived up to "write like your life depends on it."

The other night, though, it occurred to me that perhaps I was interpreting the message incorrectly, through the lens of hustle culture, particularly here in the U.S. and the SF Bay Area.

What if, I thought, ...what if this message is actually about my entire well-being?

What if my "life depends on it" means I rely on writing to know myself.

To feel whole.

To feel expressed.

It doesn't have mean hustle, strive, push. Not at all.

It might just mean: Write because you love it.

Write because it makes you happy.

Write because it's essential to your vitality and well-being.

What a relief.

That's where the joy and love is, not the hustle-strive culture.

I can save that for the marketing part, if even there.

(Wouldn't it fun to approach marketing with joy and love too?)

Perfectly, the morning after my epiphany, I listened to Lauren Sapala describe the difference between "achievement-oriented practices" and "relationship-oriented practices."

She pointed out how achievement practices focus on striving, goals, measurement, etc., whereas relationship practices focus on the richness and depth of the relationship we have with our writing and with our characters.

In other words, a relationship-based practice comes from love.

She also pointed out how the tools of achievement practices can still be useful (goal settings, measurement, counts, tracking, etc.), but — especially for those of us who are HSPs, INF types, empaths, etc. — we don't want them to take over.

Instead, we want to create from feeling, intuition, inner guidance, relationship, intimacy, wonder, play, joy, and love.

Spot on.

And all the more valuable to me because it reinforced my own insight from the night before (gotta love a little synchronicity).

While I wish I had seen this sooner, I'm so happy to have found it now.

Write from love.