by Jenna | Apr 10, 2018 | Book Reviews
I’ve just finished reading Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done* by Jon Acuff. It’s a delightfully irreverent book packed with useful insights — sometimes counterintuitive — about how and why we stop ourselves from finishing (hint: perfectionism is the root cause).
It’s been a particularly fun read right now for three reasons.
First, I’ve been reading it alongside several of my community members and we’ve been discussing it on our online site. I have a feeling we’ll be doing this again. It’s a mini online book club. Yay!
Second, I’m just about to lead the goal setting call for a writing intensive I’m running so I’m looking forward to incorporating some of Acuff’s principles into our goal setting work. And since the intensive is designed to help people finish (or make major progress in that direction), it’s particularly apropos.
Third, I know I’m a recovering perfectionist. Or at least a perfectionist who’s trying to recover. (The first step is admitting you have a problem!) So this book was useful on both professional and personal fronts.
Here are some of my favorite takeaways from the book:
- The “day after perfect” is the make-or-break day. Acuff says the “day after perfect” often turns up as soon as day two of pursuing a goal. I see this happening with writers who put in a big burst of enthusiastic writing for their first day out (sometimes later), then crash and burn the next day by going into massive writing aversion and avoidance the next day… which can lead to despair and giving up. I much prefer to see writers pacing themselves for the long haul. Acuff makes the point that we have to focus on “moving forward imperfectly” and “trying again… today, tomorrow, or next week.” I’ve always been a fan of “starting over tomorrow,” whenever I get off track with my goals so I’m right there with him.
- There’s a difference between commitments and distractions. Acuff makes a useful distinction between the things we’re committed to doing, like our day jobs and our kids, as our commitments, and things like Netflix — and those side projects you turn to when it’s time to write — as distractions. See how simple that is? I found this useful for reinforcing what I do when I write out my Three Big Rocks list, which is to focus on the key things I want to accomplish for my goals that day. I don’t include my standing commitments (taking care of my kids and exercising, for example), because I think of them as “givens,” but prioritize the three major commitments I’m making for the day.
- You can look for your own sweet spot with rewards or penalties (or both) when it comes to goal setting. Acuff says, “make it fun if you want it done,” and recommends establishing a reward or a penalty for your goal. I’m more motivated by rewards than punishment, but his writing had me think more about deciding on really fun rewards, and deciding on them in advance. I’m particularly thinking about how I can do this on the daily and weekly scale (one example he gave was how author Sammy Rhoades would reward himself with a Friday afternoon movie for meeting his writing goals, which sounds right up my alley).
- Pay attention to where you “hide” from your goals. Acuff describes both “hiding places” — where we go to avoid our goals — and “noble obstacles” — the clever schemes we design to make it so we can’t possibly focus on our goals because we’re serving some higher purpose. I’ve seen so many writers over the years come up with the most fascinating and suddenly highly important non-writing or OTHER writing projects than they originally come into our programs with. This is really worth paying attention to and short-circuiting.
- Put your new idea at the finish line for your current one. If you tend to come up with a new idea that’s much more appealing than your current project the minute you start (in the coaching world, we call these Bright Shiny Objects), Acuff recommends making the new idea the project you “get to” work on when you finish your current one. With writing, I recommend what I call a “Project Queue” (tips on how to do this with writing projects are in my free guide, “How to Choose Your (Next) Book“). The core idea is to promise to work on the new idea next. In a sense it even becomes a reward for getting to the end of the current one. Yay!
- Aim a little lower with your goal setting. Acuff recommends cutting our goals in half, either by cutting the quantity or output in two, or by doubling the amount of time we give ourselves. This is because most of us are entirely unrealistic about how we set our goals. I’ve personally been setting fewer and fewer goals over the last few years, after seeing myself being unable to attain the multiple, too-fast-paced goals I was aiming for, and I can see right now from checking my 2018 goals list that I may have a bit more tweaking to do after reading Finish, especially after the hard start to the year I’ve had.
- The “day before done” is another place many of us go astray. I’ve witnessed this in my own writing, suddenly becoming apathetic toward a screenplay, telling myself I’ve just lost interest in the story. Acuff identifies three primary fears triggered by a looming finish, including a fear of what happens next (Amazon reviews!), a fear it won’t be perfect, and a fear of “what now?” The key, he says, is addressing these fears with a combination of trusting yourself to figure it out and being open to seeing what happens.
More my favorites in this book are the “secret rules” we use to sabotage ourselves (“If I lose all this weight, then I’ll have to go dancing/be looked at/feel more vulnerable”), choosing what to “bomb” (where you’re strategically choosing to suck at something in order to prioritize your goal), using data to track your goals and “celebrate your imperfect progress,” and many more.
While there were times I wasn’t 100% sure if I thought Acuff was actually writing about resistance and not so much about perfectionism (which I consider to be a subcategory of resistance), I loved what he shared and he has stirred some useful thinking and insight for all of us who have read it.
Highly recommended.
* This is an Amazon affiliate link, which means Called to Write will earn a small commission if you purchase the book after clicking on this link, for which we are greatly appreciative!
by Jenna | Jan 19, 2017 | Writing Articles
I recently read a blog post by James Clear that suggested we forget about setting goals and focus on systems instead. I appreciated his points about how goal-focused thinking can get us into trouble because it can: 1) keep us dissatisfied with the present moment, 2) cause trouble with long-term progress, and 3) create a sense of control we might not actually have. I agree with all of those points.
But I disliked the implication that therefore goals should be forgotten. Like anything else, they are one possible tool to help us create outcomes that we want, and like any other tool, they need to be used wisely. At the end of the article he even says, "None of this is to say that goals are useless. However, I’ve found that goals are good for planning your progress and systems are good for actually making progress."
So despite the fact that it seems that James and I are in agreement about the value of both goals and systems, since there's usually a lot of debate around this time of year about whether or not goals or resolutions are "right," I thought I'd share some of what I've learned from working with hundreds of writers on goal-setting and creating systems to help them reach those goals (writing habits).
The truth is that goals and systems can work hand-in-hand quite beautifully. Here are eight thoughts about goals, systems, focus, and finishing:
- There's no one right way to do anything. We each have to find what works for us individually. My way of setting goals might not work for you. Your way might not work for me. You don't even have to set goals if you don't want to. But what I've seen is that when we focus on something specific (a goal) and pursue it, we are much more likely to achieve the outcome we're looking for than by hoping it will happen.
- Systems, habits, and routines alone can get us somewhere, but we can get lost along the way when we use them without an intended outcome. I love, love, love systems. And systems in and of themselves are brilliant solutions for consistently problematic issues, like dishes stacking up in the sink and feeling overwhelmed by them (run the dishwasher every night without fail), or laundry taking up writing time or becoming a magnet for resistance (schedule a time for laundry outside your writing schedule and stick to it), or putting off paying your bills (create a routine for how and when you write checks).
But if you're attempting to use a system, routine, or habit to achieve a long-term outcome, like writing a book, you actually have to have an outcome in mind in order to reach it, aka a "goal." You can't just write every day and hope it will happen (though it may eventually, assuming you keep working on the same thing without fail, which perhaps sounds obvious but can be a big assumption in the world of project-hopping writerly types). I've seen too many writers get lost in the weeds of writing without writing toward an end, and lose track of what they set out to do in the first place. Even James actually had an outcome in mind for the system he was using (writing and publishing blog posts twice a week).
- Goals help us focus our efforts. Honestly, there is so much going on in our lives, that unless we are super clear about what we are trying to accomplish, it's easy to get pulled off track. That writing habit can become a pat on the head ("See, I did my writing today!") unless it is focused. Pick something to finish. Finish it. Pick something else. Finish that. Repeat. Setting a goal keeps your eye on the prize.
- Goals set in a vacuum won't get us very far either. Having stated the importance of goals, I see many writers creating unrealistic goals ("A page a day!" ... but what happens when you're in revisions, are you still going to write a page a day in addition to revising?) or using magical thinking to neglect the reality of their daily lives and ending up frustrated at year's end because they don't achieve their goals. Or even worse, they set goals to match what other people are doing, whether or not that's achievable in their lives ("My friends are all writing six scripts a year, so I should be able to do that too, right? Never mind that they don't have kids or that their spouses are independently wealthy."). We have to set goals that work within the context of our lives, even when we're setting stretch goals for ourselves.
- Goals without systems are likely to fail. Goals and systems work hand-in-hand. Want to finish a book, a good one? You can't write it without a writing routine or practice. You have to put in the time, show up, and do the work. It won't happen on its own, and it probably won't happen well if you're binge-writing it at the last possible minute. (And even if it does, the cost on your health, well-being, and future writing energy may be higher than you like.)
- Use systems and milestones to counteract flagging motivation on long-range goals. When we set very long-term goals (such as year-long goals), they can feel so far away that we have a hard time staying motivated and engaged with them. Having a writing system helps us manage that sense of disconnection from our distant goals, particularly when we combine it with milestone goals. A system helps us keep writing -- it's a practice we're accustomed to engaging in every day -- so we can't help moving the project forward, as long as we don't stray to another. We can also hugely benefit from setting shorter term goals (one to three-month goals) that are completion milestones along the way to the finish line. That ultimate finish line can feel really far away, so we can give ourselves something to work the system with in the meantime.
- Taking stock periodically helps maintain momentum. Post your goals where you can see them, check in with them on a regular basis, and take stock of what you've accomplished so far (add up ALL THE THINGS, even if they seem small) to help you see your progress and stay motivated to continue.
- Progress without a finished product isn't particularly satisfying. Yes, as writers we have to be in love with the process and the practice of writing. Yes, we may never be published or produced. There are no guarantees. Yes, yes, yes. But we can still take our books and scripts to their completion points to the best of our abilities and ship them out into the world, and move on to the next project. We can use goals to focus our efforts so we get to the finish line. Working a system and being productive without focusing on an outcome or a finish line can become an endless loop that doesn't feel satisfying otherwise. We have to have both.
The 3 Necessary Ingredients to Finish a Book or Script
From what I've seen, there are three necessary ingredients to finishing a book or a script:
- A specific writing project to work on. Preferably just one long-form project. I rarely see writers completing more than one project at a time successfully. Maybe the true pros can do it. Maybe. My recommendation: Pick one project at a time. And finish it. Then do the next one.
- A writing system. You can also call this a writing habit, practice, or routine. It means showing up daily or near daily to write.
- A goal for completion. Yes, set a goal. I'm a fan of SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Resonant, Time-Bound) because they help us double-check to make sure we're being specific enough about the who, what, where, why, and how. Set a goal for when you'll complete your book or script, and while you're at it, map out the timeline too.
So put those systems and goals to work, and make your writing happen. I'll be right there with you.
by Jenna | Feb 11, 2016 | Writing Articles
I've been thinking a lot about happiness, enjoyment, appreciation, and gratitude lately.
As someone who tends to be prone to seeing "what's wrong with this picture", it isn't particularly easy for me to remember to see the positives in my life and enjoy them. I habitually look for the next thing to fix and improve upon. Then throw in some sleep deprivation and a fussy toddler, and the trip down the rabbit hole into the darkness and negativity can be a short one. ;)
However, I've been making some subtle shifts in this department that are adding up to be rather huge.
I've never been a fan of gratitude lists or journals. I mean, they SOUND like a great idea, and I BELIEVE in the idea of being grateful, but when I'm stuck in feeling overwhelmed, negative, or down about my life, it feels impossible to get into that space of gratitude and appreciation.
But what's oh-so-cool right now is that I'm noticing that by making these simple shifts in the way I'm approaching my life and what I'm doing, gratitude and appreciation have become by-products of my experience. I love that!
This all started when I decided to participate in Dr. Jessica Michaelson's online journaling program about minimizing online distractions. Just freeing myself from my small but pernicious online addictions has created a huge sense of relief and space in my life.
Then I went on and joined her Finding What You Didn't Lose program, which I'm also loving.
Here's what we're doing, on a very simple level, that I'm finding so very helpful.
- Setting an intention for how we want to approach the day ahead in a way that's connected to what's most important to us (like being present or being adventuresome).
- Getting clear on the three main things we're aiming to do in a given day (I've written in the past about "three big rocks" for the year -- this is about picking them for the day!).
- Noticing where we can build in connection, use our natural talents, and find sensory pleasure in our days.
This is all based in research about happiness,* which shows that we need to experience connection, meaning, pleasure, flow, and accomplishment in order to feel happy in our lives.
How to translate this into enjoying your writing
One of the biggest challenges in long-form writing (a novel, book, screenplay, for instance) is that it can feel endless, like we'll never reach the finish line of "done". Living immersed in that context can be disheartening at times and downright discouraging at others.
To keep ourselves feeling fresh -- and happy -- we need to stay connected to several things, like:
- WHY we're doing it. When we're clear about how important writing is to us and believe it is our calling, we stay connected to its meaning in our lives. Some days writing is hard, some days it's fun and easy. But in the big picture, we care deeply about it, otherwise we wouldn't be doing it. We can even go a little more deeply into the Big Why behind our writing. Perhaps we have a message or vision to share, or we're hoping to shape, change, and influence people's lives. When we give thought to our Why, it's easier to keep on writing.
- Small, short term goals. If a long-form writing project, with all its requisite rewrites, is a long-term deal, we need to make sure we create a short term feeling of accomplishment for ourselves right now in addition to our big picture aims. This is easy to do when you set attainable, daily goals. When you start the day with a plan, like "today I'm going to write (one new scene, 350 words, for 15 minutes, etc.)" then you KNOW when you have done it, or not. And when you keep the goal attainable, so you KNOW you can do it, it's easier to push through any resistance and make it happen. Then you'll get the satisfied feeling of accomplishment that's so important for your sense of happiness. As a bonus for this, doing the writing early in the day will only make the rest of what you get done that day a bonus. :)
- Other writers and other people. Hang out with other writers who 1) get what it's really like to write day in and day out, and 2) have generally positive and supportive attitudes about writing. Be mindful about hanging out in groups of writers who will only tell you how hard it is to break in. Instead, look for people who are finding ways to write and ways into the business that work for them, their lifestyles, and their temperaments. ALSO spend time with non-writers too: Your loved ones, family, and friends. Life is rich, and our writing is richer when we are connected to it.
- The rest of life. Writing doesn't happen in a vacuum. As writers, we tend to be hunched over desks and computers more than average. We need to get out and enjoy the world and take care of our bodies too. Turns out that sensory pleasure happens mostly in the real world, so give yourself some gifts in this regard. I've been savoring the simple things, like walks in the beautiful weather, delicious tea, snuggling with my littlest one while he goes to sleep and with my eldest one while I read to him at night, taking Pilates classes, and blowing bubbles for the kids in the sunshine.
- Our writing itself. Writing, by nature, can produce the wonderful state of flow that's part of the recipe for happiness. When we're writing, we're in the flow of using our innate talents. So if you're having trouble getting past the natural resistance that comes up around doing the writing, get support to get into the flow. A working writer is a happy writer.
Here are some power questions to help you put what I've written about today into practice:
- What's important to you about your writing?
- What short term writing goal can you set and achieve today?
- How can you connect with other writers today?
- What can you do to experience pleasure in the real world today in your life?
- What support do you need, if any, to get into the flow of your writing today?
Use these questions to make simple shifts and enjoy your writing (more!), and your life. You deserve it.
by Jenna | Jan 27, 2016 | Writing Articles
We're closing in on the end of the first month of the year. I can't quite believe it!
Most of us started off the year with solid intentions to write. How's that going for you?
If you're writing less than you'd like to be, this is the perfect time to make a course correction.
In fact, in some ways, it's the BEST time to make a course correction, because we're early enough in the year that small adjustments will go far.
So dig out your end of 2016 writing goals and take stock. (And if you haven't created your 2016 writing goals yet, here's a great tool to help you -- and no, it's definitely NOT too late!)
Do the Math
If you haven't done this yet, reverse engineer your goals so you can see where you're wanting to be by the end of the month (and at any point along your projected timeline).
Example 1: Finish an 80,000 word novel by December 31.
For example, if you're aiming to complete an 80,000 word novel by the end of the year, you can figure out your approximate daily word counts. The math for this tells us that you'll want to be writing about 320 words per day, 5 days per week, all year, excluding holidays (there are 251 working days in 2016).
This means that by January 31, you'll want to have completed approximately 6,080 words (19 working days in January). This assumes that you're either writing by the seat of your pants (a "pantser") or that you've already plotted the novel. It also assumes that you work on weekdays and take holidays and weekends off.
Example 2: Plot AND finish an 80,000 word novel by December 31.
Another example: If your goal is to complete an 80,000 word novel by the end of the year, but you haven't plotted it yet, you can set a timeline for the plotting and the writing. You might allow two weeks or two months to plot; it's up to you, your writing process, and your available time.
But once you know your timeline, you can break down the plotting into increments, such as chapters or plot points that you want to hit by a certain date. Then you can assess your progress.
Let's say you're aiming for two months for plotting, and we're nearing the end of January right now. So you should be halfway through the plotting at this point, or ideally around the midpoint of your novel. Then, starting in March, you'll have 212 working days left to write those 80,000 words, or about 377 words per day.
Tools and Adjustments
I love spreadsheets for this kind of calculating and planning. (In fact, I'm working on making a special one for you right now -- stay tuned for that!)
Of course you can adjust these calculations for your project and schedule, such as if you prefer to write on weekends, for instance.
Or as in my case, if you're writing screenplays, you might want to set a daily target page count rather than a word count.
Also, be aware that these calculations don't include revision or editing time, which may not always lend themselves to a linear progression since deeper cuts and reworking tends to work better from a to do list method.
Assess Your Progress
Once you've reverse-engineered your goals, check in: Are you on track to meet your goals by the end of the year? Do you need to bump up your daily word counts or adjust your time table?
One of the smartest things I see writers do is get crystal clear on the math of their projects so they know exactly what to aim for and can pace themselves well. It's all too easy to live in fantasy land, unclear on what you're trying to accomplish, floundering in hope and optimism rather than grounded, practical reality.
So check in on where you're supposed to be, and make an assessment of what — if any — adjustments you need to make, and you'll be good to go.
by Jenna | Jan 18, 2016 | Writing Articles
Here at Called to Write, we’re rereading Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art.
I’ve read it at least five times already. And referred to it many times in between.
This month, as part of starting off the new year, I invited my Called to Write members to read (or reread) The War of Art with me. We’ll have an online book club discussion about it next week where I’m sure we’ll learn even more about this brilliant book as we discuss it together.
Here’s why I made this pick.
The War of Art is a Bible for Writing
The War of Art has been like a bible for me since I first read it. It was the first time I understood that I wasn’t struggling to write because I was lazy, or “a procrastinator” by nature, unoriginal, or lacking ideas. When I read it, a lightning bolt of understanding flashed through me. I was afraid. I was afraid I would fail, that I would succeed, that I wouldn’t do my ideas justice. Resistance was what was paralyzing me.
It was then I began to understand what it meant to face the fear and work anyway, and to help other writers do the same.
We Sometimes Need Help Finding Our Way
2018 was a hard year for many of us. It was rough personally, socially, politically, and more.
In my own life, 2018 was borderline apocalyptic. Between losing my father early in the year, several temporary-but-limiting-and-impacting health issues, wretched tech problems with the (old) writing program I was running, the terrible air quality and fires on the west coast over the summer and deep into November, and the political and cultural climate we’re living in right now, not to mention the day-to-day regular stuff of taking care of a family and running a business… well, like I said, it was rough. And between dealing with grief and all the other ruckus, my writing took a bit of a hit. I was writing, but not the way I wanted to be and resistance was high as the year drew to a close.
When life gets rocky, I focus on getting back on track as quickly as possible.
The War of Art felt like the perfect way of clarifying and reorienting, for all of us.
We Do Better, Together
While I knew reading The War of Art alone would be fruitful, I also know there is power in reading and learning together.
I also know it can give us a common language to communicate about our writing challenges, much as we were able to do after reading Finish by Jon Acuff last year.
I also sense, in the midst of this globally challenging time, that collectively strengthening our resolve, grit, resilience, sovereignty, and drive will help us better support each other to stay on track with what we were put here to do.
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