by Jenna | Jan 23, 2013 | Writing Articles
The other day I commented about how “It’s so tricky to be your own deadline-maker,” in my writing community. One of our writers wrote back and said, “If you have some tips on how to be more motivated by self-set deadlines, I would love to try them.”
So like last week, I’m continuing my theme of answering questions that have come up in my community that I felt would be useful for everyone to think about. (And before your eyes glaze over if you’re not a writer, don’t worry, you can use these techniques too.)
And here they are:
7 tips for staying motivated by self-created deadlines
As you read through these, see if you notice how I use external forces to keep the internal deadlines moving ahead.
1. Use Jedi mind tricks.
Find a reason to believe in the significance, importance, and the power of the deadline. If you create a deadline, but you internally decide that it’s flexible or not important, you won’t stay motivated by it. So find a reason that makes your deadline compelling.
For instance, my current compelling deadline for the ebook project I’m working on is the result of mapping out my launch calendar for 2013 with my business consultant, and it’s pretty clear that unless I stay more or less on track with it, there will be a rather significant snowball effect of Other Things Not Working, which will have a negative ripple effect throughout the entire year.
Of course, we built some wiggle room and flexibility into the schedule, but knowing that if I don’t meet my “ship date” for my ebook project, I’m only going to create stress and discomfort for myself. It’s highly motivating to keep me on track. (See also #2, taking care of your tomorrow self, below.)
Similarly, even if you don’t have an editor, agent, producer, audience, or manager (yet) clamoring for your latest project, you can find deadlines for it to help you stay inspired all the way to completion, like signing up for a contest and aiming to get your project submitted by their deadline.
In my case, I know I’m attending a series of meetings with producers in Hollywood this summer, so I have a deadline for finishing my script naturally built into my 2013 plan.
We can call these “self-created” deadlines, because we choose them ourselves — we make them extrinsic deadlines to help us stay motivated internally.
2. Take care of your tomorrow self too.
I have learned — finally, it’s been hard — to take care of my “tomorrow self” as well as my “today self.” When you’re tempted to slack off on your deadline, take the long view, and have compassion for the future self who’s about to bear the brunt of today’s workload.
When I’m only looking at things from the vantage point of my today self, even though I’d love to THINK that since there’s no big deadline looming on the immediate horizon, I can take the day to get caught up on small tasks and admin, when I remember to think of my tomorrow self, I know SHE’LL be the one to pay the price for that kind of thinking.
Pacing myself is good for all the versions of me — it keeps me happy now, today, tomorrow, and beyond.
3. If you can’t find a reason for the deadline, invent one.
Alternatively, if you can’t find any more natural means of making a deadline motivating, create one. My favorite tool here is something we call “social accountability,” and it has to do with promising at least one other human being that you’ll be delivering said project on a specific date, ideally at a specific time.
For instance, you can exchange projects for feedback or notes with a fellow writer on a certain date, or invest in a coaching relationship where your mentor is waiting to review your work with you. I like to schedule appointments with my mentor in advance of having my next 15 pages written — it’s terrifically motivating to get me to complete them.
An accountability party is another powerful way to create a motivating deadline. I picked up this idea from Barbara Sher’s books. The idea is to host a party — you pick the deadline — where you’ll be celebrating the completion of your project with your friends and family.
4. If you don’t have a deadline, focus on taking consistent action.
One of the interesting aspects of my community is that it can help you stay motivated and taking action even when you don’t have a deadline. Writing projects are long-term commitments, and staying motivated by them can be tricky. But if you focus on taking small, consistent, daily action, as we recommend to our members, you WILL eventually reach the end of your project. You actually DON’T HAVE TO HAVE a deadline to get yourself into action.
Personally, I like to use all the methods I’ve described here in combination. I set myself up for the regular daily action, combined with self-selected externally motivated deadlines and invented interim deadlines. The way I figure it is this: The more the better. I use every trick in the book to keep myself going. And it works.
5. Reverse engineer your project and get super specific about the details.
Once you’ve gotten clear on your deadline, start dividing up your project into manageable chunks, whether it’s chapters, word counts, or time periods. You will likely be able to identify a natural increment you can work with. Then map that out over the time period you have allotted for your project.
For instance, with my ebook project, I have three ebooks that I’m aiming to write approximately 15,000 words for each, for a total of 45,000 words. This means that I can look at the time frame I have, divide it up into reasonable increments, let’s say 1125 words per day, 5 days per week, for 8 weeks. (And also, by telling you about it, I’m creating social accountability for myself. See what I did there?)
What’s motivating about this is seeing exactly what it will take to make my goal. That’s a fair bit of work, right? And if I don’t pace myself, I’ll end up paying for it in a big binge and burnout. Not fun, not pretty. And certainly motivating to avoid, albeit in a somewhat “I don’t want that” kind of way.
6. Set up time to actually fulfill the project.
Once you’ve reverse-engineered your project, then create time in your calendar for fulfillment. You can’t “ship” the thing until you’ve created it, right? So get out your calendar and carve out time, ideally first BEFORE you do all other stuff that normally eats up your day — I know you know what I’m talking about, but just in case: email, Facebook, Twitter, games, futzing around, etc — and be realistic about what you can actually accomplish.
I can write 1000 to 2000 words in an hour, depending on the topic, so I know I’ll want to have at least 5 hours per week carved out to meet my 1125 word deadline, working at a fairly brisk pace. Keeping in mind the big picture helps me get serious about keeping my head down and getting to work when that window of time rolls around on my calendar.
7. Do the work.
Once you’ve got the time on your calendar, be prepared for the resistance to show up. It’ll come in all forms — your mom calling just when you’re supposed to start writing, or an “urgent” email popping into your inbox, or the dirty dishes in the sink suddenly becoming alluring. Recognize that long-term projects, even with highly motivating deadlines, are darn difficult beasts to face. There’s always something more we’d rather be doing.
Something that helps me tremendously with this is my writing community. We write in group writing sprints, where we come online and write collectively for an hour together. I’ve learned to schedule my project writing time with the group sprints, so not only do I have it on my calendar, I also have accountability to actually show up and do the work.
It’s so motivating and helps keep me focused when I would otherwise be tempted to postpone my writing sessions.
Yep, even me.
So be ready, with every trick at your disposal, to fend off the voices that tell you that other things are more important. They’re not. Remind yourself of your big picture deadline, why you’ve designed it that way, and do the work.
Warmly,
by Jenna | Jan 9, 2013 | Writing Articles
When it comes to making lasting powerful change in your life, the make-it-or-break-it moments come down to the split second decisions you make.
I read something from an organizer who pointed out that so much of clutter we create comes down to making a decision right in the moment to either leave something out or put it away. Since I read that, I've found myself debating internally about my standard practice of "just getting it in the ballpark" when it comes to putting things away and I've started to change it.
Do we care? Are we caring about that?
Why do we care about this?
We care about this because this idea translates to EVERYTHING.
What happens when you're about to say something snarky to your kid or your spouse because you've had a bad day? Do you stop yourself? Do you make a new choice in that split second? Did you know that you can?
What about if you've already said it? Did you know you can make a new choice and apologize?
Or what if you want to be more on time?
I noticed yesterday that the reason I didn't get my son to school on time (there's no official time, but the time I want to be there by) was that I made a series of small choices that led to that outcome. I puttered a little extra. I looked online. I did some work that could have waited until I got back from the gym. Why?
I wanted to be on time. I wanted to get to the gym. But the natural resistance to doing those things was coming up, and I was making split second choices to support the resistance rather than the action.
Today I chose differently.
Today I told myself, "That can wait until I get back."
Today I choose to add things to my to do list on my phone, rather than taking action on them immediately and getting sucked into the work vortex.
Today we drove away from the house exactly on time.
And again I ask, are we caring about that?
We are.
We care about this because it applies to EVERYTHING. Even your creative work, like when you're finding yourself about to "take a break" before you start writing or painting.
Yeah, that.
In that split second you can make a choice not to procrastinate, but to take action instead.
Strengthening Your Willpower Will Change Your Life
Brian Johnson says that willpower is "known by research scientists as the queen of all virtues -- the greatest predictor of health, happiness, wealth and all other good things."
What happens when you start making better split second choices?
You strengthen your willpower.
In turn that strengthens your self-confidence, self-control, and happiness.
And isn't happiness what we're ultimately all looking for?
Surprise! You Can Build Happiness in Small Steps
The beauty of this split second idea is that it doesn't have to be complicated.
- What if I just put this in the drawer instead of setting it down on the counter?
- What if I leave on time today?
- What if I choose not to drink this time?
- What if I just got up right now and went to the gym?
- What if I just sat down and did 15 minutes of writing?
It probably sounds a little crazy, but making these little choices will lead to being happier and more fulfilled. It's about the choice to be in integrity with yourself. And that always feels good.
Accumulate Your Small Choices
The way this gets really fun is when all those little small choices start adding up. I call it "making a critical mass of subtle adjustments."
It's funny how it comes down to the littlest details, like where your creative tools are kept, what time you get up, the small routines you have around your work (or not), etc. It all makes a difference.
An example? Sure!
Here are a couple of my tricks when it comes to writing:
- I use a Mac program called "Isolator" to cover up all the other programs on my screen so I'm not distracted by them (and I turn off all the beeps and pop-ups or hide them so I can't see them).
- I always write with a timer, so I stay focused on my project. I use an online timer or my phone timer so I don't have to hunt around for one.
- I keep a big jug of water in my office, so I can easily refill my water glass if I get thirsty.
- I keep lotion at my desk, so that I don't have to get up if my hands get dry, which can distract me.
- When I'm writing upstairs in bed (which I often do first thing in the mornings), I put the laptop on the charger at my bedside so it's ready to go in the morning. (And I have water and lotion there too!)
These little things make it easy for me to say "Yes" to the writing in those split-second moments that make the difference between doing the work, or not.
Warmly,
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by Jenna | Jan 2, 2013 | Writing Articles
It's the second day of the new year.
I spent a little time yesterday wondering about whether I wanted to make any resolutions and found that the answer was no. What I want to do, more than anything, is keep doing what I've been doing, which is making a lasting change in my life a little at a time. I thought it might be interesting to talk about why these other ideas — resolutions, themes, and chains — don't work for me.
Why resolutions don't work for me
The idea of vowing to take on improvements in my life from the resolution perspective just doesn't work for me anymore.
I think it's because it's too vague. Maybe it's the way I think about resolutions. I'm not 100% sure.
What I know is that in the past, when I've made resolutions, I've failed to make concrete plans for taking steps to achieve them. I didn't understand the massive levels of resistance that would come up or have the slightest clue about how to deal with it. I didn't know what specific actions I'd be taking.
I can remember one year when I promised myself that I would eat better, and caved in to a tasty treat on January 1st. I gave up then, figuring that if I couldn't do it on day 1, I wouldn't be able to continue.
I can remember another year when I resolved to journal every day, and it maybe lasted for a week before I "blew it." So I didn't bother to try again after that.
Now granted, I've grown a lot since then and I think I'm certainly more self-aware than I was 20 years ago when I was making those resolutions, but at the time, my thinking was, "I've already blown it, why continue? It's already too late to get it right."
Inherently, I think the concept of a resolution can be difficult to sustain, and can set us up to feel like we've failed.
Why themes don't work for me
I've also taken classes and worked with coaches where I'm supposed to pick out themes for the year. The classes and concepts are lots of fun. We came up with themes like "Focus. Fun. Spirit."
But I never stay connected to the themes I identify. They don't have specific meaning for me. Or specific action steps associated with them. Too vague again.
Don't break the chain?
Then there's Jerry Seinfield's idea of "Don't Break the Chain."
Last year I toyed with the idea of writing every day. As you probably know, I run an online writing community — which promotes that kind of regular, consistent writing. But in our community, we ask our writers to write at least five to seven days out of every seven days, not to commit to writing every day.
At first I railed against the idea of taking days off. I figured we "should" all write 7 days per week (and you probably know how I feel about "shoulds" — they are big red flags).
But as we've been running the Called to Write community, I've discovered a few important things and changed my mind:
- Resting replenishes my creative well.
- If I take over one day off from writing per week, I have a much harder time getting started again.
- If I don't take off at least one day per week, I get rebellious and cranky and want to quit altogether.
- Writing every day makes me feel worn out. It's a grueling path. Marathon runners know the importance of rest days. And writing is certainly a marathon.
- Taking guilt-free, planned time away from writing keeps my mid-brain calm (that part of your brain that freaks out and puts you into fight-flight / procrastination mode) and allows me to subconsciously work on my project in my back-brain.
Certainly, you and I are different. For some people, writing (or working creatively) every day is a must. For me, it's a no-no.
Six days a week? Sure.
Seven, not so much. My biggest concern about the "don't break the chain" idea is that if we DO break the chain, it's far too easy to fall into the well of despair and struggle to get ourselves back out of it. I'd much rather plan a day off, almost like a "cheat day" with a diet, to keep me from getting mired in perfectionism, guilt, or shame.
What works
What does work for me is taking incremental steps to make lasting changes.
I like to identify my big vision, or my projects, like "rewriting my sci-fi script" or "losing 25 pounds." If I'm feeling really inspired, I might craft inspiring intention statements, like "I intend to knock this script out of the park" or "I intend to be feel great in my own skin."
But the most important step for me, as I mentioned above, is to come up with specific, frequent action steps and to work on "cracking my code" for overcoming my resistance to taking those steps.
Layering in new habits
I also like to "layer in" improvements.
An example?
Sure! Glad you asked.
When we started Called to Write, I focused first and only on building the habit of regular writing. I didn't worry about the quantity of words, or even quality. I also decided not to do more than one kind of habit-building at a time. So I focused on writing for 15 minutes a day, 6 days per week.
Approximately 4 months later, I layered in a new habit of exercising. Over the years, I've finally realized (aka cracked my code) that I won't work out unless 1) I'm paying someone to "watch" me do it, e.g. a trainer or in a paid class, 2) there's a specific schedule to do it, or 3) I'm already out of the house. So I hired someone to do Pilates with me on a weekly basis.
About 6 months after that, I added in time at the gym. At first I just aimed to go once per week. I figured out pretty quickly that I could put on my workout clothes, take my son to school, and then go right to the gym. I rearranged my schedule so I don't start coaching or working with anyone until 10:30 a.m. Pacific Time, which gives me plenty of time to get him to school, get in a good workout, and get back to my office in time to get started. I also set it up so I could do that five days per week and put two favorite movies (Star Trek 2009 and Serenity) on my iPhone so I can study them while I'm on the elliptical. Great motivation to get there.
It's easier once you build the habit
What fascinates me about this is something I talked about in my Creative Productivity teleclass series over the last couple of weeks: Once I got going, it was much easier to continue doing it than it was to stop. I'm now compelled to keep writing and to keep exercising, two of my biggest bugaboos over the last 20 years. The more you do it, the easier it is to keep going.
So what I like to do instead of all these resolutions and themes and chains is to come up with small, almost ridiculous steps that make it easy for me to do the thing I said I was going to do, a bit at a time, and to view it like a giant experiment, where I'm observing what worked and what didn't. One of our members says that our community is like being in our own laboratory, and we are the lab rats, experimenting on ourselves. It's a terrific analogy.
Warmly,
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by Jenna | Dec 12, 2012 | Writing Articles
If you have a dream to write or create, you probably have your sights set on the new year as a good time to recommit to your goal.
You probably also believe that once we've passed through the holiday ring of fire, you'll have cleared a lot of new space, time, and energy that has otherwise been occupied with shopping, events, and clearing your desk for the holidays.
Glorious guilt and procrastination
And, surprise, surprise, there do tend to be a few glorious days in January of peace and quiet... but usually with the essence of guilt and procrastination swirling around the edges.
Because even though you've promised yourself you'll get started right away on your writing or art or dream, you don't.
It's not what you think it is
But don't feel guilty. It's completely normal. You see, once you actually have that big block of time you've been longing for, the raw, naked fear comes bounding in and masquerades as wanting to sleep in or take some time off after all the hubbub. What's wrong with that? "Yeah, I know I said I would write today but it's new year's day and I just want to get a little more sleep. I just want to spend the day relaxing for a change."
It looks like needing time off (and you probably do actually need it) but it's really fear.
Here's the thing
(And, yes, we've talked about this before.)
Resistance comes up around anything worth doing.
We tend to recommit -- at least mentally -- to the concept of doing those things in the form of new year's resolutions.
Guess what?
Those resolutions trigger even more resistance.
Which leads to more distractions, and smokescreens, and procrastination. And stress. And self-doubt.
No more stories
There's ALWAYS something.
Always.
So.
How about instead of making resolutions, we decide to make new life decisions about setting ourselves up for a long-term, sustainable, regular practice of our art? No more grand sweeping gestures and big talk but instead an actual realistic, attainable plan to take small, daily actions to move you toward your goal?
For instance:
- If you want to write, commit to writing for 15 minutes a day.
- If you want to move your business forward, commit to doing the hardest tasks first (usually marketing, right?), for 15 minutes a day, every day.
- If you want to paint, set yourself up so that you can paint a little bit every day. Use the two-second rule to make sure your watercolors and sketchbook are close to hand.
Find the smallest increment of absolutely do-able, sustainable, accomplishment you know you can meet, and commit only to that, nothing more. If you find yourself not doing it, make it smaller. And let me know how it goes.
Warmly,
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by Jenna | Dec 5, 2012 | Writing Articles
A few weeks ago I wrote a post about “the end of the world as we know it.”
So many people’s lives are shifting in difficult, challenging ways right now. I do feel like we’re starting to come out the other side of it, though, don’t you?
I’m reminded that even when things look disastrous, beneficial change is usually occurring.
Somehow this will all work out
When it’s happening in my own life, I like to say, “Somehow this will all work out, even if I can’t see how yet.” I believe in myself and my ability to make good, long-term choices for myself, and to get the help I need to see myself through difficult times, so even when it feels like things will be tanking forever, I remember that somehow I’ll see it through.
The right and perfect path
When it’s happening in someone else’s life, and it looks like they are crashing and burning, I hold out the same kind of hope. I believe that they are on their right and perfect path, when even from the outside it looks like a train wreck. Rather than staring overly at the debris or trying to fix it for them, I do my best to view their situation from a place of higher, spiritual respect that they are doing the best they consciously know how to handle their situations.
Love them through it
Certainly their choices may impact my own decisions about how, when, and if I choose to interact with them. I may even choose not to have them in my life any longer, but I can still view them, their lives, and choices with compassion.
So as we see our loved ones losing relationships, not living their dreams, sabotaging their lives, or just plain going through a rough patch, remember to love them through it.
As you see yourself struggling with painful emotions and circumstances, love yourself through it too.
Notice your capacity for compassion
The challenges I have been through myself this year, too numerous to count, have vastly increased my capacity for compassion and understanding for others. At least for me, that’s what this “whole 2012 thing” has been about.
What about you? What do you notice about your own capacity for compassion?
Warmly,
by Jenna | Nov 28, 2012 | Writing Articles
Accomplishment amnesia is a common ailment that strikes many of us, particularly those of us that are highly conscientious, responsible, talented, and highly sensitive. It seems to run in parallel with these traits.
What is accomplishment amnesia?
Accomplishment amnesia occurs when we get so busy meeting our obligations and moving on to the “next thing” that we quickly forget what we’ve done in the past (however distant or recent) that has value.
I find this malady particularly comes up when we get into a place of self-doubt — we can’t remember a single thing we’ve done or accomplished. We feel useless, talentless, valueless.
We might even feel creatively blocked or numb because we are devaluing the work we’ve done but are not appreciating.
A darn good job
I’ve been going through a rough patch lately, and I noticed recently that as I’ve been starting to feel better, I’ve been berating myself for not having done more lately. “Why am I so behind? How have I let things get like this?”
I stopped myself and noticed what was really going on: I had accomplishment amnesia.
I quickly reminded myself of all the personal challenges I’ve faced over the last couple of months, including having surgery on my wrist, and shifted the conversation to noticing what I have done: filed my taxes, settled a car accident claim, dealt with an intensely difficult emotional time, never missed writing a blog post, coached my clients, continued running my writing community, and carried on writing my screenplay no matter what. Wow! I’ve accomplished a lot under very difficult circumstances.
Sure, there’s more, there always is. But look at what I’ve done!
Does this happen for you too?
Most of my clients have this kind of accomplishment amnesia. They’re so focused on what they haven’t done, that they forget to celebrate what they have.
Here’s how you can start to shift out of this delusion that you haven’t done anything worthwhile:
1. Catch accomplishment amnesia early.
When you notice yourself falling into the pattern (like I did), stop and take stock. Is it really true that you haven’t been doing enough? Take a few minutes to review what you actually have done. You’ll be surprised.
2. Don’t buy into the standard definitions of success and accomplishment.
Don’t limit yourself to society’s success definitions. Instead, think about what you’re proud of. Create your own definition of what it means to be successful.
Just yesterday, some of my writing pals and I were discussing what it means to claim the title of “writer.” Many of us are discovering it has much less to do with being a published or sold writer (though many of us are striving for those), and everything to do with showing up and doing the writing regularly — having a writing practice.
3. Set small milestones.
Increase your sense of accomplishment by setting and celebrating small milestones as you attain them. Instead of only celebrating when you complete the book, whoop it up for every chapter. Then when you do hit the finish line, make sure you celebrate that point too.
I’m rewriting my screenplay using Chris Soth’s “Mini Movie Method,” which lends itself nicely to this sort of milestone assessment. Every 15 pages I complete another mini-movie, so it’s easy to create a sense of accomplishment as I go.
Look for similar small milestones in your own work.
4. Celebrate your accomplishments in the moment.
I watched a fun video of Tamara Ireland Stone, author of the young adult book, Time Between Us,* which I just finished reading and very much enjoyed. She had just received her box of copies of her book and made a point to celebrate with her husband and friend and glass of wine. I hope she’ll do the same for every future book as well.
When you do have an accomplishment, STOP what you’re doing and celebrate. Build the muscles of appreciation for yourself and your work.
5. Create a “brag book.”
I’ve forgotten where I first heard this term, but the idea is to create a scrap book of your accomplishments so that you can go back and remind yourself, “Yes, I’ve done some amazing, wonderful things.” And you have. Include anything and everything you can think of that you’ve accomplished. On my list: birthing my son, finishing my first screenplay, completing graduate school and earning two master’s degrees, nurturing an incredible friendship with my best friend, becoming a certified life coach, etc.
Bottom line
It’s all too easy to think of ourselves as never reaching the finish line when there’s always so much more to do. Rather than thinking you’ll never get there, remember to enjoy what you’re doing along the way. It’s the journey, after all, that counts.
