by Jenna | Jun 14, 2017 | Writing Articles
It's that time of year again... summer!
The days are getting longer, the weather is warmer, kids and teachers are out for the summer, and vacation season is here. There are so many reasons to put down your pen and turn off your computer and go outside... which I highly recommend.
All work and no play isn't good for a writer's soul, after all.
And, at the same time, you'll want to keep writing so you don't lose your writing momentum or end up finishing summer feeling disappointed about where you are in your draft.
Here are five tips for making the most of your summer writing, while still enjoying the play time you need and deserve.
#1. Remember Why You Love Writing
While it's highly useful to treat your writing with as much care and attention as you would a professional job... when we're in the middle of this expansive summer energy, it's a good time to remind ourselves that we're also doing this because we LOVE it.
This helps create a more natural fit between the part of us that wants to have delicious summer adventures and the romantic side of our writing dreams. To that end, even while you're putting your head down to write, play with matching your summer energy to your writing energy. You might light candles while you work, write in a café, or take your notebook to the beach. This is a great time of year to indulge your most vivid writing life dreams and make it fun.
#2. Be Aware of Magical Thinking
Over the last couple of weeks as I've developed our summer plans, I've found myself imagining doing a big chunk of writing on one of our vacations... And doing a big chunk of studying on one of our vacations... And maybe writing some promotional copy on one of our vacations.... and all of these on the SAME vacation. Talk about magical thinking! Even if I actually wanted to write and/or work during a trip (I don't), I certainly can't accomplish all of those things and have the time I want to have with my family. Sure, I could probably finagle an early morning writing session before they awaken, but I want my vacation for vacationing.
Similarly, it's easy to imagine that you'll have so much extra time during the summer that you'll be able to make wild progress on your work. I think this might be a holdover from when we were all in elementary school and summers seem to last forever and we have nothing to do... just the way we imagine that a new year will suddenly have so much more free time than we had in the last one. But we don't. Even if you're a teacher with the summer "off," your days will quickly fill with all the things you've put off doing during the school year unless you're mindful about it.
Instead, be realistic about what you can actually accomplish over the course of a summer. See how many days you have to write, and schedule them accordingly with your summer writing goals.
#3. Give Yourself Time to Play
We're way more likely to do our work when we're also giving ourselves time to play, rest, indulge, and enjoy. And since summer naturally lends itself to those things, it helps to set up a nicely balanced bargain between the two.
I find that writing as early as possible during the day allows me to have guilt-free down time and playtime in the afternoons, just as I find that when I'm writing when I'm home, I feel good about enjoying my vacations fully while I'm away instead of feeling guilty that I "should" be doing more.
Work hard, play hard, is an adage that fits the bill here... but you have to actually deliver on the play time to make this work.
#4. Plan for Reentry
Taking time off from writing -- generally anything more than 1 to 2 days off -- tends to create a bumpy "reentry" back into it. So if you go away for a long weekend or a vacation, think about how you'll reboot yourself with your writing when you get back.
In my community, we advise our writers to "go back to the beginning" of working in small increments of writing time if resistance kicks in when it's time to pick the writing back up. A little accountability goes a long way here too (we offer this in the writing community if you need help).
So if you return from time away and find yourself struggling to get back into your book (or script), try writing for just 5 to 15 minutes to jump start yourself again. You can increase the time over the coming days as rapidly as feels doable to you until you're back to your normal routine.
Use this guideline: The more resistance, the smaller the amount of writing time.
#5. Have Fun, and Be Ready for Anything
Summer can be an "all bets are off" season. Between kids at home, weather variations, vacations, out of town guests, extra summer projects, and our own impulses to celebrate the summer, a lot can get in the way of writing.
The more you can be ready to roll with it -- to have fun with it even, like you're playing a "I wonder how much writing I can pull off this summer" game -- the easier it is.
I find that a lot of this is about your mental attitude -- if you're expecting your summer to be just like the rest of the year, you're more likely to get thrown off track. On the other hand, if you take an attitude that things are going to be more up in the air, you'll be more ready to take the writing time when it comes and just run with it. You'll also be more likely to have contingency plans ready to go if something comes up, like having a portable writing kit, a flexible schedule, or a backup writing time slot later in the day if your morning writing gets interrupted.
Have fun, writers, and happy summer!
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by Jenna | May 9, 2017 | Guest Posts
And we're back! It's time for the next installment of our "Author Insights" series. In this series, I'm introducing you to writers who've taken their writing all the way to the finish line of publication, and they share their "lessons learned" with you. There's nothing quite like learning from a writer who has made to the other side.
Plus, if you leave a comment at the end of the post before Friday, May 12th at 5 p.m. Pacific Time, you'll be entered to win an autographed copy of the author's book in a random drawing. Please note that you must be located in the United States to win.
Meet Elaine La Joie, author of The Empath as Archetype
I'm thrilled to introduce you to Elaine La Joie. Elaine and I have worked together in various ways over the past 15 years since we first met after attending the same coach training program. Elaine has gone on to become not only a coach but is now also a shaman, who specializes in working with empaths. Elaine has chosen the self-publishing path and has put out five books, now bundled into one in the The Empath as Archetype. Her books are particularly valuable for sensitives and empaths who find themselves stuck in challenging relationship situations. Being a shaman and an expert in the Enneagram Four, Elaine always brings a higher view of relationship interactions I find illuminating and freeing.
I asked Elaine to share her insights about writing her books with us.
Elaine La Joie on Writing The Empath as Archetype
I had wanted to write ever since I was a child, but I always thought I’d write fiction. However, after coaching empaths for a few years I found myself writing non-fiction.
At first I wrote short essays for my blog about topics that came up during client sessions that I thought most empaths would appreciate.
Then, as I expanded my knowledge base from plain coaching to the Enneagram to shamanic energy work, I found myself explaining these concepts to new clients, which took too much time away from diving into the healing work, so I decided to write a guide that clients could read before they started working with me.
Structuring a Complicated, Massive Topic
However, the book I imagined was complicated. I was bringing together topics from the Enneagram, shamanic energy work, and archetypes, and then writing specifically for the empath archetype. It was overwhelming.
Instead of writing I found myself spending time thinking about how to arrange this massive treatise, which led to frustration and procrastination. I solved this by going back to observing my clients and what we needed to unravel and work on first before major progress could be made.
This helped me see the three disparate topics my clients needed to understand before they could achieve deep healing and shift their ingrained patterns, and I organized my work accordingly. I wrote three books about the archetypal drama triangle, which is particularly problematic for the sensitive empath, shamanic energy work, and the enneagram archetype of the empath. I published these on my website.
Navigating Expanding My Reach with Amazon
Once I had self-published the books on my site, I had a few sales, mostly from new clients and others curious about my work. The feedback was good, but small. I kept writing, this time shifting to major case studies with the assumption that the reader had absorbed the concepts in the first three little books.
Because I wanted to expand my reach, I started looking into how to upload my books to Amazon. Luckily by the time I was ready to publish on Amazon, they had made the process relatively straightforward and free with both their digital system (Kindle) and their softcover publisher (CreateSpace).
But I noticed that I was procrastinating again—the thought of having my books reviewed by the general public was for the most part scary and unappealing.
Making Peace With the Possibility of Bad Reviews
My books were written for a very specific audience, an empath who wants to change his or her life. A non-empath would not understand these books. An empath that was interested but not ready to look at the shadow work required to heal themselves would most definitely find my books upsetting. They might leave rotten reviews. In many ways I felt like I was setting myself up to be misunderstood and misrepresented.
At the same time, I knew this work would be helpful to that segment of the population of empaths who were ready to dive in and do the deep healing work.
So, I had to prepare to get bad reviews. I made two shifts with my thinking that helped tremendously:
- I made a conscious decision not to take any reviews personally and to trust the work would reach the audience for whom it was intended. Because I am an empath, and empaths tend to take everything personally, I had to remind myself that my feelings in the moment would pass; I should honor my feelings, but not take them too seriously, even the happy feelings around good reviews. This helped me be both less attached to good reviews and less fearful of bad reviews.
- I reminded myself that personal work for anyone is very difficult, and that it is a common human behavior to shoot the messenger. My work is all about being the messenger for people who are hurting and wanting to heal themselves. In doing one-on-one work with clients, it is relatively easy to match my client and maintain a relationship that works for both of us, but every once in a while a client tries to shoot the messenger. It doesn't happen often because we have built up a relationship of acceptance and trust, but when it does, I don't take it personally because I understand the nature of healing work and the role of the shaman. Once I started thinking of my writing as working one-on-one with my favorite clients as my audience, it was easier and less scary to move forward. However, because I wasn’t really working one-on-one with each reader, it was guaranteed that I would be shot down at least one time out of ten.
Luckily for me, most of my readers so far have wanted to do the work, so most of my reviews on Amazon have been very good. Many empaths can be shy, so I receive much more positive feedback through emails than through reviews, which is also heartening. There are awful reviews as well, such as one from a reader who gave my last book one star after starting with it first instead of last. This person did not to read the other books, but gave them all one star reviews anyway. This was both amusing and upsetting at the same time, but in the grand scheme of things, the work is out there, and people can take it or leave it, just as they take or leave one-on-one session work.
Overall my writing experience has been a very good one. I have been very lucky to have a niche in which to write. I also entered self-publishing right when the process became easy and straight forward.
As it turned out, the literal process of self-publishing was easy—the hardest step was moving past my fears and putting the work out there.
About The Empath as Archetype
The Empath as Archetype contains the first five volumes of The Empath as Archetype series by Elaine La Joie, including:
- The Empath and the Archetypal Drama Triangle
- The Empath and Shamanic Energy Work
- Motivations of the Empath
- The Empath and Shadow Work
- The Empath and the Fan-Hero Family System
These books, written over seven years, are a compilation of case studies of Elaine's clients, and are now available in this collected edition.
Elaine begins with the Archetypal Drama Triangle, explaining the most common archetypal system humans can be caught in, but gives examples particular to empaths. She moves on to describing shamanic techniques including Soul Retrieval and Underworld Work, used in her practice to help her clients heal wounds common to empaths. Next comes a description of the most typical blindspots and faulty beliefs for empaths as described by the Enneagram Type Four and how to change to more productive beliefs and behaviors. In the final two volumes she explains particularly troublesome relationships in which empaths can become entangled, including the common family system that can produce the narcissistic personality.
The Empath as Archetype is available on Amazon.com.*
About Elaine
Elaine La Joie, shaman and certified life coach, has worked with empaths and highly sensitive intuitives for more than ten years. During that time she has helped empaths understand themselves and their relationships while using shamanic energy healing to resolve past traumas, including severe abuse. These books offer empaths insight into their relationship and into the hidden motivations of themselves and others so that they can understand their loved ones and create the lives they truly desire.
Please visit Elaine’s website at https://secure.clearreflectioncoaching.com for more resources for empaths.
Enter to Win an Autographed Copy of The Empath as Archetype
Elaine has graciously offered to give away three autographed copies of her book to my readers. Leave a comment on the blog about one of your own writing lessons or something you learned from Elaine's insights before Friday, May 12th at 5 p.m. Pacific Time and you'll be entered in the random drawing. Please note, you must be located in the United States to win.
* This is an affiliate link, which means my Called to Write business receives a small commission from any purchases you make using this link, and which I deeply appreciate.
by Jenna | May 3, 2017 | Writing Articles
When you imagine yourself into your own future writing success, how does it feel? Is it exciting but terrifying, all at once? Do you imagine yourself changed irrevocably by your fame and fortune? Do you sense yourself being overwhelmed by attention, energy, and even money? Will you still be a good person?
Will success change you?
A Sneaky Kind of Resistance
I’ve seen in myself and others this terror of success manifesting as a very sneaky kind of resistance. We self-sabotage because we’re afraid we can’t handle the success. Another way to think of this is as an “upper limit problem,” where you thwart your future success by imploding in the here and now, even in the smallest of ways.
Does “I just don’t feel like writing today” ring any bells?
Under the terror is a fear of losing your very sense of self as a result of being successful. As if you'll be so overloaded with the intensity of success that you’ll transform into chaotic energy that floats you away into nothingness.
Sometimes we stop ourselves from writing because we’re afraid to fail.
And sometimes we stop ourselves because we’re afraid to succeed.
Symptoms of a Fear of Success
It could be as simple as procrastinating or being a perfectionist, but it might also look like taking on so many tasks that you can’t write, failing to do your best work, stopping just short of finishing project after project, fearing that you'll betray your loved ones if you succeed or are happy, or even allowing emergencies to erupt and backlogged work to accumulate so you can’t write (or write well) because you have too many demands on your time, space, and energy.
Interesting how those symptoms match both a fear of failure and a fear of success, isn't it?
Addressing a Fear of Success
But the solution for moving past the fear lies in understanding which fear it is.
Having a fear of failure means needing to adjust your mindset about what failure means.
If you're struggling with a fear of success, though, the solution lies in bringing yourself into the here and now, into this moment, right now, reading this piece with me, and remembering that you get to decide how to handle your life. You’re the author of your present, and your future. You get to practice being grounded, centered, present, and calm, right now, right here. You get to make decisions and plans for your money, time, and energy now, so that when success arrives you're well prepared for it.
So just breathe with me, right now. Notice the air, the light, the sounds around you. Take a deep inhale, and then let it go. You don’t have to worry about the future right now, because you're getting ready to be your future self, one step at a time.
Your job, right now, is to calm and soothe yourself. To bring your attention back to the work you’re doing right now. The learning you’re having right now. One step at a time.
Enjoy it.
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by Jenna | Apr 11, 2017 | Guest Posts
And we're back! It's time for the next installment of our "Author Insights" series. In this series, I'm introducing you to writers who've taken their writing all the way to the finish line of publication, and they share their "lessons learned" with you. There's nothing quite like learning from a writer who has made to the other side.
Plus, if you leave a comment at the end of the post before Friday, April 14th at 5 p.m. Pacific Time, you'll be entered to win an ebook copy of the author's book in a random drawing.
Meet Angela Dunning, author of The Horse Leads the Way
I'm so happy to introduce you to Angela Dunning. Angela was one of my earliest coaching clients. I loved working with her to help her get in touch with her core, essential self and discover her life purpose and calling to work with horses. She was an ideal client, putting in the effort and earning the results we arrived at... and it was a memorable, magical moment when we lit upon Equine Facilitated Learning (EFL) as her career direction. Since then, it's been a true delight for me to watch her career evolve and thrilling to see her publishing her book in her area of expertise. Honestly, words can't convey the excitement I feel seeing Angela bring our work to this level of fruition all these years later.
I asked Angela to share her insights about writing her book with us.
Angela Dunning on 7 Lessons Learned While Writing The Horse Leads the Way
Writing my first ever book, a non-fiction handbook for my profession of equine facilitated practice, was one of the hardest and most challenging things I have ever done. I had no idea just what exactly was involved in creating and structuring an entire book. Having written articles and blog posts for many years now I found writing a book to be a whole different ballgame.
On top of this, the book’s focus was somewhat of a challenge for the industry it is aimed at, as I was attempting to question some current areas of practice and training, as well as hoping it would steer the profession back to a more horse-centered methodology. Gulp!
Many, many times I wanted to quit. It was too scary. Too hard. Too much work. And most of all, it took SO much longer than I had originally envisaged to really pummel and kneed the content into shape in a way that would be more palatable to the readers; not cause me too much trouble, and make it as easy and enjoyable a read as possible. On top of all of this, I had an unseen force pushing me on throughout. Maybe it was my Higher-Self/Soul, maybe it was also the horses themselves urging me on to express their concerns and needs, but something kept me going and would not let me quit. Whew…
So, here are my tips, having actually managed to successfully come out the other side of publication. I hope these tips will help and encourage other first-time writers, as I really felt this need myself as a first time writer. It was often a lonely and scary experience and hearing other writers’ experiences was both comforting and encouraging.
- Don’t underestimate how long the editing process takes. I found I did the initial main write in the first 6 months -- and this was a complete joy by the way! However, it then took a further 14 months of nothing but editing, restructuring, and proof-reading over and over again to complete the book.
- Avoid giving yourself arbitrary timescales for completion and publication. My biggest error all along was hoping it would be completed much sooner than it actually was. I had already begun talking openly in my networks about the book and its themes with some enticing social media marketing posts. But as the months wore on I had no energy to continue these as all my time and energy was taken up with the editing process. These arbitrary deadlines I kept giving myself in the end just caused me a ton of unnecessary stress and repeated disappointment. Now that I have a more realistic idea of how long it takes I wouldn’t even mention publication, book-launches and the like, until much nearer the end of the editing process.
- Find yourself a really good editor. Someone who can be completely impartial yet who can also understand your subject matter. Ideally this is someone who can see the bigger picture and help with structure, logic, and readability. If they also do an excellent job of proof-reading and technical editing, then great. If not, then find yourself a great proof-reader too. My advice would be to tackle the structure first, once you’ve got the bulk of your material written. Finalize the structure and flow, and only then move on to the proof-reading and final tidying-up phase.
- Don’t underestimate the amount of energy and commitment it takes to complete a book. It is a marathon and can be gut-wrenching a times. Many times you will want to quit, put it aside, do it another time. Having great support throughout this process is vital. You need friends and family to listen and empathize with you. And you also need really supportive cheer-leaders who you can go to when you feel low, and who will remind you why you are doing it and why your book is important.
- Treating the experience like it was my full-time job was vital, from the very beginning of sitting down to write the content right through to the grueling final months of editing and more editing. Making this commitment to myself and my life to finish the book was crucial. I let go of other assignments and greatly reduced my other commitments so that I could do this. For me personally, and for my mental wellbeing, this was essential to enable me to stay focused and committed to the end product and its purpose.
- Many people say this is like a birthing process. I absolutely agree with this analogy. The labor-pains I endured, which went on for MONTHS, were at times excruciating. Don’t underestimate just what it takes on all levels to write and publish a book. It takes self-care, nurturance of each part of the project, support from others, and ideally, a skilled publisher to hold your hand through those final, painstakingly slow weeks of design, further editing and layout before you even receive a hard-copy in your hands. The post-birth relief once it is finally out there though is immense and very much welcomed.
- Finally, I would also like to say that I have learned the post-publication period is a very important time for great self-care. Personally, I was exhausted and also a little down during this time. Suddenly I had nothing to focus on each day in such a concentrated way. There was an odd sense of emptiness permeating my days following publication. Coupled with a strange silence as the book made its way onto its readers’ bookshelves and into their hands. I had to now just sit back and wait for feedback and income.
Being gentle with yourself in this period is vital. It is not all champagne corks and celebratory dinners, although these are great, of course. It is also a vital period for rest, recuperation, and time to reflect on the intense process you have just been through, and perhaps put your nearest and dearest through too. Be gentle, rest, and allow yourself to sink into the enormity of what you HAVE accomplished. It is not for the faint-hearted! Writing a book takes courage, faith, and guts. And it changes how you see yourself and also how others see you too. A lot is shifting occurs as a result of becoming an author in addition to the actual material you have produced and this takes time to adjust to and integrate.
About The Horse Leads the Way
The Horse Leads the Way undertakes a timely review of the rapidly growing profession of Equine Facilitated Practice (encompassing Learning, Coaching Therapy, and Psychotherapy but not therapeutic ridden interventions).
Part handbook, part personal story, the author blends embodied, grounded techniques and compassionate insights to gently guide this method back to its greatest teachers: the horses themselves. Using an approach which is firmly grounded in the view of the horses as sentient beings in their own right, Angela guides practitioners and training providers to employ methods which honor this right throughout all areas of their work. Not only does this protect and support their equine partners’ wellbeing and enjoyment of their work, but, she argues, it also brings maximum benefit to the participants as a natural consequence. It is hoped the book will mark an important turning in this blossoming industry’s future development.
The Horse Leads the Way is available on:
About Angela
Angela Dunning is a sensitive, intuitive horsewoman. She is also a healer, teacher, writer, community worker and consummate holder of sacred space. A graduate of Eponaquest® Worldwide and LEAP, she established her Equine Facilitated Learning (EFL) practice, Equine Reflections, in 2007. She delivers private sessions, talks, workshops, taster sessions, supervision, mentoring, and training. She specializes in supporting women through navigating their own personal growth, reconnecting to their bodies, and reclaiming their true essence. Angela lives in Herefordshire, England and delivers her work in the UK and abroad by invitation.
You can find Angela online at thehorsestruth.co.uk.
by Jenna | Mar 28, 2017 | Writing Articles
Writers don't always recognize the grip of perfectionism when caught in its vise. But perfectionism is a wicked master that keeps us from achieving our true potential.
I should know. I struggle with perfectionism too.
Perfectionism is a Coping Mechanism
I learned to be a perfectionist as a way to keep myself safe. If I did something correctly (as evaluated by my family), I was praised and validated. If I did something incorrectly, I was critiqued. That critiquing resulted in a lot of shame for me. Shame that I wasn't good enough, that I wasn't measuring up. There was an implication I'd embarrassed my family with my error (even if it was something as simple as arranging crackers inartistically). If ever I objected to taking part in something aesthetic, I was told, "but you're so creative." So I would comply out of sense of obligation and guilt. And then when if or when my creativity didn't measure up, I would go deeper and deeper into hiding and shame. And yet at the same time, I loved (and love) being creative. Such a trap!
So many writers have similarly intricate sets of creative wounds, and perfectionism as a coping strategy is the result.
Perfectionism Endangers Excellence
Either do it perfectly, or don't do it at all.
Perfectionism tells us there's a right way and a wrong way to do things. To do anything. Perfectionism doesn't allow for mistakes or failure. But those so-called "failures" and "mistakes" are where the greatest breakthroughs and innovations happen. We've seen this through history, science, and technology. The path to success is rarely a straight line.
When we court perfection, we endanger our own brilliance, excellence, discovery, and evolution.
Perfectionism Lies to You
Interestingly, writers who are perfectionists will often self-describe as being "lazy."
Perfectionism says you aren't good enough, you aren't trying hard enough, and concludes that you must be lazy or you would be working harder. And in fact, when you procrastinate on taking creative action, you might even look lazy. But that is a lie.
The real reason you are procrastinating is that you are afraid you will not be able to do your work perfectly, so it's safer not to do it at all.
You are not lazy, you are terrified.
These "lazy" writers are also often the same writers with intense fantasies of landing on bestseller lists and high achievement.
Perfectionism also lures you into daydreams of massive success. Awards, recognition, fame. But rather than being motivating, these visions are also paralyzing, because just as before, you are afraid you will not be able to achieve this high level of success, so it's safer not to try at all.
Perfectionism likes black and white extremes. In perfectionism's eyes, you're either a massive failure or a massive success.
Perfectionism is lying to you.
Write Because You Love It
What if you were just you? Being your excellent, awesome self? Showing up, doing your work, writing because you love it, because you're called to it, not out of fear of blowing it or the hope of making it big?
Instead of striving for perfection, strive for excellence through action. Allow yourself to fall, and get back up, over and over again.
Keep writing.
